Abstaining: How to Just Say "NO"

All is quiet on Election Day. Its just a local election year, which means you can get into the polls and out in no time at all because many people don't vote locals.

If there is nothing big at stake, many people don't bother voting. This year, even less was at stake locally. I for one usually look forward to Election Day, but this year I had that "What's the use?" feeling many get when they are ready to give up on things getting better.

A few years back, we pinned the hopes of our city's future on a young mayor, who is very popular and well known. Meriden was on an upswing, people were actually moving here. I personally was excited, but not long after, my excitement died as things began to change for the worse in my mind.

However because of his popularity with minority voters of which there are more of than white voters in Meriden, he runs uncontested this year as the Republicans didn't even bother to put up a candidate.

There was also the same set of tired assed names that adorn the ballot each time for city council, one more good for nothing than the other.

My taxes have gone up, my benefits have gone down, the police have harassed my family to no end and I can't even get my street plowed when it snows.

I talked to a neighbor the other day who had similar complaints. We both were going to apply for a program that the city helped you with a loan to do some renovations to your home. The loan becomes due only if you sell your house.

We called the city and found out that the first thing they do when you apply is send the building inspector over your house to write you up for a bunch of code violations.

Then they review your application and if you make too much money, or if you are not a minority, then you don't qualify for the loan. The problem comes in that now you are on the hook for a bunch of code violations that need to be fixed within a certain amount of time and no one is going to help you pay for them.

So you become forced to sell your house at a reduced rate, because its not up to code. A real estate agent then told me the city then seeks minority home buyers, helps fix the property up and bring it up to code and chases your ass out of town!

In other words, if you think you might not qualify, don't apply because you stand to lose your home.

Today I wasn't going to vote, it just didn't seem worth it. You just can't change anything with a vote and how can you fight an uncontested mayor?

I was passing my polling spot and got to feeling sad. I always cherished my right to vote and have never missed one since I became 18. It came to my head that this was the 25th time I am eligible to vote and I've given up on the process.

I remembered what my father once told me. You are not under any obligation to choose someone, you just have an obligation to show up.

I pulled in and said to myself, "I'm gonna do it."

I went inside and gave my ID to the lady who checked me off as voting. I went into the voting booth, pulled the lever to close the curtain and immediately re-opened it walking away.

No other voters were there and everyone on the voting staff was looking at me funny. I stopped, looked at them all and said, "That's my vote...for no one!"

One woman said to me with a smile, "That's your right."

I am counted as if I voted, yet I voted for nobody. As sad as it was, it felt damn good. It wasn't going to change anything, but it made me feel in control of a situation I have no control over...even for a minute.

I Voted Today....

My New Hobby

Doodle and I have begun a journey...

It has reached that exciting period of our married life that our children aren't around us that much and we need to find one of those middle of the week things for us to do together to well...give us something to do..

Many couples play cards with other people, but we aren't inot cards. A few couples join bowling leagues, but that would just land Doodle in the Emergency room more often.

We thought about taking a class together, but then I'd wind up doing the work for both of us, possibly landing me in the Emergency room.

I wanted to get her out walking with me, but I can't stop for her to have a cigarette every few minutes.

So we thought we could use a new kind of hobby. One we could both enjoy, both do the work and have no one generally getting hurt.

We use a lot of candles here, so we took up the hobby of candle making, figuring if we made more of them, we'd buy less of them. No one taught us or anything, we just are kind of winging it and it seems to work out.

We spend the week collecting jars and containers, then one night we make a few candles. Its actually a relatively inexpensive hobby and will save us money in the end.

Better yet, for quick gift ideas, what could be better? There is a lot of experimenting we can do with them, combining scents and colors and what not.

So far our first few have come out pretty good and its quite therapeutic. There is no bickering in candlemaking, because when its all said and done, we all get what we want out of it.

The more we experiment with it and have a few semi disasters, we'll learn more about it I'm sure.

It beats canasta night...

General Vacation Day Paranoia

Its a self imposed 3 day weekend!

I think we all like to believe the world can't get along without us. Then again, it pisses us off when the world can't get along without us.

I'm sitting home watching "ER" re-runs feeling guilty. The world is getting along on its own and I am getting paid for it. Do you wonder if they're talking about you...are they pissed off?

Are my bosses mad that I am off today? Are THEY leading the brigade of conversation about you?

Doodle is coming home and we are disappearing for a couple of days. I am going to eat junk food instead of all that healthy crap I've been eating for months and lost 25 lbs on. I'm already feeling guilty about that, not to mention I won't be going on my 3 mile nightly walk for the next two days. Doodle has already ordered me that I am to consume a Reuben sandwich and some fries in the next 48 hours.

I'm always worried I'll spent more money than I should when I go away. Then again, I deserve to spent a little money...

I hate all these dilemma...but I love vacation days...I just don't do them too well.

Just In Time

Yesterday, as I promised myself, I was going to make a final pilgrimmage to say goodbye to my beloved New Haven Coliseum. The building is to be imploded in the next couple of months taking with it 30+ years of memories and much of the fun my childhood and adulthood.

As it turns out we got there just in the nick of time.

Doodle and I parked nearby and walked over to South Orange Street where the old building has stood since 1972. I don't ever remember anything else being there. The Coliseum wasn't a beautiful building. I can remember my grandmother looking at it when it was made and said, "Ooh, what a crazy looking place!"

The Coliseum wasn't ever finished actually. The was a small convention area on the inside that was never completed and never used. They ran out of money to finish it and then the area was abandoned with a lick and a promise. The city of New Haven never completely paid for the Coliseum's building and its implosion will cost about a third of how much the building cost 33 years ago.

As we walked toward the building I held out for hope that what we would find there was a sign of life. Something that told me that they could possibly turn it all around at the last minute and change their minds.

But as we grew closer it became painfully obvious the end was near and there was no turning back.

We walked around and everywhere was something that reminded me of something. We took pictures of the building and even managed to get an inside picture of a common area.

As it turns out, they would be the last pictures ever taken of those areas. This morning, little did we know, the very areas that we were taking pictures on yesterday, were demolished today.

We realized we came to say good bye, just in time. We even were able to loosen some parts of the building to take home as souveniers and send one to my Dad, who took me there when I was 9 and it just opened in October 1972.

I tried to think of all the things I went to there and there was no way to remember them all.

I refereed an indoor soccer game there, broadcasted a hockey game, got in a fight, got drunk a few times, caught a hockey puck, saw Hall and Oates for the first time, brought my kids there, had a pro wrestler fall on me, introduced two little girls to hockey, one of whom would go on to become a college hockey player as a result.

I took girls on dates there, including Doodle, met a girlfriend there and even went to church there once! I was nearly arrested there once for getting into it with a security guard and had fun sleeping out for concert tickets when that was the rage.

We skipped school to go buy tickets for stuff there. We hopped the bus and rode downtown to get tickets for whatever we were after.

Saying goodbye to a friend is never easy, even if the friend isn't a person. But I can assure you this friend lived, breathed and was full of life.

I'm glad we went when we did, it wasn't even the same place less than 24 hours later.

(pics in F@DW this week..)

The Latest Big Unit

In a continuing effort to make my ass more productive, I have switched computers for only the 6th time in my 10 year internet career.
Six times really isn't bad when you consider the stuff changes every six minutes but your pay increases maybe only 6 years.
I got away from using a laptop all the time, because when I'm writing, I like big Occupational Therapy keys. My fingers and eyes work pretty much as well as they used to, but smacking two little keys for the price of one, didn't really help me do what I wanted it to do.

You know, now that my house is full of 10 years worth of computer crap, lines, cords, port stuff, modems, old monitors, keyboards, mice, software, hardware, USB shit and of course, semi or non working computers, I find that the newer stuff gets, the more I like the old stuff.
This circa probably 1996 thing I am pounding away on, works better than all the 2005...ok '04...make it '03...things I was using, does just about all the same stuff and I figure I can get thru the next 43 yrs without what I am not missing here.

Its running Win 95, which always worked the best and was the most reliable, its pretty quick and aside from the God awful noise it makes if the cover isn't tightened down, I think I could get used to this thing.

You know, after you've tried all the synthesized crap that can be tried, its still the acoustic stuff that sounds the best, if you know what I mean.
The new stuff is cool to have, but sooner or later, its the old stuff that makes you remember why you liked something in the first place.

Don't Monk With My Head

Friday night watching an episode of Monk with Doodle and Bri. I hadn't seen the new ones because baseball took up my Friday nights.

Everyone insists I'm getting more like this guy all the time.

A lady is telling him and his assistant Natalie a story about her life. Monk has already been told the lady's parents died in a plane crash some time ago.

Lady: "Everything was ok until my parents died in that Pan Am jet in '95.

The lady then excuses herself and Monk gets a funny look on his face, the one he gets when he knows something is wrong. I too get that look and said outloud.

"I think Pan Am was out of business by '95."

Monk looks at Natalie and says, "Something is wrong with that story. She said her parents died in a Pan Am crash in 1995. Pan Am went out of business in 1991."

The two of them looked at me and shook their heads. Doodle said the famous phrase many people say around me,

"Only you."

Downtown

I have a lot to do in the next week or so, but when its all said and done, I want to take Doodle and go walk around New Haven for a day.

The city of my youth is changing so much, its hard to recognize it anymore. Going by places and saying, "I remember when this was there" and what not. It just doesn't seem like the same place anymore.

Its gonna break my heart when the Coliseum is imploded in the next few months. There will be so many memories of that building. I want to walk over to there and see it one more time before its gone by Christmas.

Speaking of Christmas, I can remember walking around at night in the snow Downtown and looking in the store windows while people shopped.

It was two weeks before Christmas and that was the time to START shopping. We felt so safe and my parents were working in Macy's and Malley's wrapping gifts so they could have extra money and a discount to get us gifts.

By early next year, the Macy's and Malley's (already gone) buildings will be gone too.

My grandfather, the REAL Pop Pop, (I'm an imposter I assure you) had his Army and Navy store on Chapel St. Its an XXX rated movie dealer now. So much for another family memory!

I can recall the Petula Clark song "Downtown" and my Mom singing it as we got off Exit 1 on I-91 as we went to Malley's one day when I was a kid. We'd walk around and get lunch there. We'd go to a place called Kresge and get a 1/4 lb scoop of M&M's. They tasted so much fresher than the bag version.

Then we'd get a box of Karmelkorn (fresh carmel coated pop corn, the first of its kind) and get some beads and string at the Merle's record store (still around) to do crafts when we went home.

I don't think Petula Clark would sing about this place now and thankfully Pop Pop never got to see it get like this.

I'm also grateful my father is living far away so he can't see the Coliseum blow up. We used to have so much fun there going to hockey games and then to Clark's Dairy for ice cream afterward.

We went to hockey games in the 60's (the old New Haven Arena), 70's, 80's, 90's and I was hoping for a 5th decade but I don't think its meant to be.

I just want to walk around and remember...