Dave's Daily Digest

Abstaining: How to Just Say "NO"

2005-11-08T19:25:00.000-08:00

All is quiet on Election Day. Its just a local election year, which means you can get into the polls and out in no time at all because many people don't vote locals.

If there is nothing big at stake, many people don't bother voting. This year, even less was at stake locally. I for one usually look forward to Election Day, but this year I had that "What's the use?" feeling many get when they are ready to give up on things getting better.

A few years back, we pinned the hopes of our city's future on a young mayor, who is very popular and well known. Meriden was on an upswing, people were actually moving here. I personally was excited, but not long after, my excitement died as things began to change for the worse in my mind.

However because of his popularity with minority voters of which there are more of than white voters in Meriden, he runs uncontested this year as the Republicans didn't even bother to put up a candidate.

There was also the same set of tired assed names that adorn the ballot each time for city council, one more good for nothing than the other.

My taxes have gone up, my benefits have gone down, the police have harassed my family to no end and I can't even get my street plowed when it snows.

I talked to a neighbor the other day who had similar complaints. We both were going to apply for a program that the city helped you with a loan to do some renovations to your home. The loan becomes due only if you sell your house.

We called the city and found out that the first thing they do when you apply is send the building inspector over your house to write you up for a bunch of code violations.

Then they review your application and if you make too much money, or if you are not a minority, then you don't qualify for the loan. The problem comes in that now you are on the hook for a bunch of code violations that need to be fixed within a certain amount of time and no one is going to help you pay for them.

So you become forced to sell your house at a reduced rate, because its not up to code. A real estate agent then told me the city then seeks minority home buyers, helps fix the property up and bring it up to code and chases your ass out of town!

In other words, if you think you might not qualify, don't apply because you stand to lose your home.

Today I wasn't going to vote, it just didn't seem worth it. You just can't change anything with a vote and how can you fight an uncontested mayor?

I was passing my polling spot and got to feeling sad. I always cherished my right to vote and have never missed one since I became 18. It came to my head that this was the 25th time I am eligible to vote and I've given up on the process.

I remembered what my father once told me. You are not under any obligation to choose someone, you just have an obligation to show up.

I pulled in and said to myself, "I'm gonna do it."

I went inside and gave my ID to the lady who checked me off as voting. I went into the voting booth, pulled the lever to close the curtain and immediately re-opened it walking away.

No other voters were there and everyone on the voting staff was looking at me funny. I stopped, looked at them all and said, "That's my vote...for no one!"

One woman said to me with a smile, "That's your right."

I am counted as if I voted, yet I voted for nobody. As sad as it was, it felt damn good. It wasn't going to change anything, but it made me feel in control of a situation I have no control over...even for a minute.

I Voted Today....

My New Hobby

2005-11-07T07:30:00.000-08:00

Doodle and I have begun a journey...

It has reached that exciting period of our married life that our children aren't around us that much and we need to find one of those middle of the week things for us to do together to well...give us something to do..

Many couples play cards with other people, but we aren't inot cards. A few couples join bowling leagues, but that would just land Doodle in the Emergency room more often.

We thought about taking a class together, but then I'd wind up doing the work for both of us, possibly landing me in the Emergency room.

I wanted to get her out walking with me, but I can't stop for her to have a cigarette every few minutes.

So we thought we could use a new kind of hobby. One we could both enjoy, both do the work and have no one generally getting hurt.

We use a lot of candles here, so we took up the hobby of candle making, figuring if we made more of them, we'd buy less of them. No one taught us or anything, we just are kind of winging it and it seems to work out.

We spend the week collecting jars and containers, then one night we make a few candles. Its actually a relatively inexpensive hobby and will save us money in the end.

Better yet, for quick gift ideas, what could be better? There is a lot of experimenting we can do with them, combining scents and colors and what not.

So far our first few have come out pretty good and its quite therapeutic. There is no bickering in candlemaking, because when its all said and done, we all get what we want out of it.

The more we experiment with it and have a few semi disasters, we'll learn more about it I'm sure.

It beats canasta night...

General Vacation Day Paranoia

2005-11-04T12:19:00.000-08:00

Its a self imposed 3 day weekend!

I think we all like to believe the world can't get along without us. Then again, it pisses us off when the world can't get along without us.

I'm sitting home watching "ER" re-runs feeling guilty. The world is getting along on its own and I am getting paid for it. Do you wonder if they're talking about you...are they pissed off?

Are my bosses mad that I am off today? Are THEY leading the brigade of conversation about you?

Doodle is coming home and we are disappearing for a couple of days. I am going to eat junk food instead of all that healthy crap I've been eating for months and lost 25 lbs on. I'm already feeling guilty about that, not to mention I won't be going on my 3 mile nightly walk for the next two days. Doodle has already ordered me that I am to consume a Reuben sandwich and some fries in the next 48 hours.

I'm always worried I'll spent more money than I should when I go away. Then again, I deserve to spent a little money...

I hate all these dilemma...but I love vacation days...I just don't do them too well.

Just In Time

2005-10-31T22:24:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, as I promised myself, I was going to make a final pilgrimmage to say goodbye to my beloved New Haven Coliseum. The building is to be imploded in the next couple of months taking with it 30+ years of memories and much of the fun my childhood and adulthood.

As it turns out we got there just in the nick of time.

Doodle and I parked nearby and walked over to South Orange Street where the old building has stood since 1972. I don't ever remember anything else being there. The Coliseum wasn't a beautiful building. I can remember my grandmother looking at it when it was made and said, "Ooh, what a crazy looking place!"

The Coliseum wasn't ever finished actually. The was a small convention area on the inside that was never completed and never used. They ran out of money to finish it and then the area was abandoned with a lick and a promise. The city of New Haven never completely paid for the Coliseum's building and its implosion will cost about a third of how much the building cost 33 years ago.

As we walked toward the building I held out for hope that what we would find there was a sign of life. Something that told me that they could possibly turn it all around at the last minute and change their minds.

But as we grew closer it became painfully obvious the end was near and there was no turning back.

We walked around and everywhere was something that reminded me of something. We took pictures of the building and even managed to get an inside picture of a common area.

As it turns out, they would be the last pictures ever taken of those areas. This morning, little did we know, the very areas that we were taking pictures on yesterday, were demolished today.

We realized we came to say good bye, just in time. We even were able to loosen some parts of the building to take home as souveniers and send one to my Dad, who took me there when I was 9 and it just opened in October 1972.

I tried to think of all the things I went to there and there was no way to remember them all.

I refereed an indoor soccer game there, broadcasted a hockey game, got in a fight, got drunk a few times, caught a hockey puck, saw Hall and Oates for the first time, brought my kids there, had a pro wrestler fall on me, introduced two little girls to hockey, one of whom would go on to become a college hockey player as a result.

I took girls on dates there, including Doodle, met a girlfriend there and even went to church there once! I was nearly arrested there once for getting into it with a security guard and had fun sleeping out for concert tickets when that was the rage.

We skipped school to go buy tickets for stuff there. We hopped the bus and rode downtown to get tickets for whatever we were after.

Saying goodbye to a friend is never easy, even if the friend isn't a person. But I can assure you this friend lived, breathed and was full of life.

I'm glad we went when we did, it wasn't even the same place less than 24 hours later.

(pics in F@DW this week..)

The Latest Big Unit

2005-10-28T07:58:00.000-07:00

In a continuing effort to make my ass more productive, I have switched computers for only the 6th time in my 10 year internet career.
Six times really isn't bad when you consider the stuff changes every six minutes but your pay increases maybe only 6 years.
I got away from using a laptop all the time, because when I'm writing, I like big Occupational Therapy keys. My fingers and eyes work pretty much as well as they used to, but smacking two little keys for the price of one, didn't really help me do what I wanted it to do.

You know, now that my house is full of 10 years worth of computer crap, lines, cords, port stuff, modems, old monitors, keyboards, mice, software, hardware, USB shit and of course, semi or non working computers, I find that the newer stuff gets, the more I like the old stuff.
This circa probably 1996 thing I am pounding away on, works better than all the 2005...ok '04...make it '03...things I was using, does just about all the same stuff and I figure I can get thru the next 43 yrs without what I am not missing here.

Its running Win 95, which always worked the best and was the most reliable, its pretty quick and aside from the God awful noise it makes if the cover isn't tightened down, I think I could get used to this thing.

You know, after you've tried all the synthesized crap that can be tried, its still the acoustic stuff that sounds the best, if you know what I mean.
The new stuff is cool to have, but sooner or later, its the old stuff that makes you remember why you liked something in the first place.

Don't Monk With My Head

2005-10-17T07:11:00.000-07:00

Friday night watching an episode of Monk with Doodle and Bri. I hadn't seen the new ones because baseball took up my Friday nights.

Everyone insists I'm getting more like this guy all the time.

A lady is telling him and his assistant Natalie a story about her life. Monk has already been told the lady's parents died in a plane crash some time ago.

Lady: "Everything was ok until my parents died in that Pan Am jet in '95.

The lady then excuses herself and Monk gets a funny look on his face, the one he gets when he knows something is wrong. I too get that look and said outloud.

"I think Pan Am was out of business by '95."

Monk looks at Natalie and says, "Something is wrong with that story. She said her parents died in a Pan Am crash in 1995. Pan Am went out of business in 1991."

The two of them looked at me and shook their heads. Doodle said the famous phrase many people say around me,

"Only you."

Downtown

2005-10-13T22:22:00.000-07:00

I have a lot to do in the next week or so, but when its all said and done, I want to take Doodle and go walk around New Haven for a day.

The city of my youth is changing so much, its hard to recognize it anymore. Going by places and saying, "I remember when this was there" and what not. It just doesn't seem like the same place anymore.

Its gonna break my heart when the Coliseum is imploded in the next few months. There will be so many memories of that building. I want to walk over to there and see it one more time before its gone by Christmas.

Speaking of Christmas, I can remember walking around at night in the snow Downtown and looking in the store windows while people shopped.

It was two weeks before Christmas and that was the time to START shopping. We felt so safe and my parents were working in Macy's and Malley's wrapping gifts so they could have extra money and a discount to get us gifts.

By early next year, the Macy's and Malley's (already gone) buildings will be gone too.

My grandfather, the REAL Pop Pop, (I'm an imposter I assure you) had his Army and Navy store on Chapel St. Its an XXX rated movie dealer now. So much for another family memory!

I can recall the Petula Clark song "Downtown" and my Mom singing it as we got off Exit 1 on I-91 as we went to Malley's one day when I was a kid. We'd walk around and get lunch there. We'd go to a place called Kresge and get a 1/4 lb scoop of M&M's. They tasted so much fresher than the bag version.

Then we'd get a box of Karmelkorn (fresh carmel coated pop corn, the first of its kind) and get some beads and string at the Merle's record store (still around) to do crafts when we went home.

I don't think Petula Clark would sing about this place now and thankfully Pop Pop never got to see it get like this.

I'm also grateful my father is living far away so he can't see the Coliseum blow up. We used to have so much fun there going to hockey games and then to Clark's Dairy for ice cream afterward.

We went to hockey games in the 60's (the old New Haven Arena), 70's, 80's, 90's and I was hoping for a 5th decade but I don't think its meant to be.

I just want to walk around and remember...

This Isn't Right

2005-10-12T21:28:00.000-07:00

Baseball season is done for Yankees fans. It has not stopped raining in weeks it seems like. It is wicked cold and dark. Everyone is depressed.

We have been couped up in here for days it seems. Even something I take for granted like going for a walk hasn't been an option. There is nothing good on TV and we are all barely talking to each other.

However I have good news...I just saved a bunch of money, by switching my car insurance AWAY from GEICO!

Man that lizard got expensive over the years!

Happy Birthday Doodle

2005-10-03T13:24:00.000-07:00

RIGHT NOW!

What’s On: Sheryl Crow, “Good Is Good” (“Partydown....with the Crow”...LOL)

Current Mood: anxious

Its that time again! Time to wish a Happy Birthday to my wife Lisa (Doodle), number 46!! We all love hervery much and hope she has a great day.

Many people have asked, “How did Doodle get her nickname?” Well, way back...no WAY back, when we were first married, we were all home on a rainy cold Saturday afternoon and I decided that it might be a nice rainy Saturday thing to make some cookies.

So I looked in some old recipies and found Snickerdoodles. I had all the stuff so I made them, like 4 dozen.After they were done, we all had a few, but when we were all watching TV, Lisa (all 95 lbs of her) kept sneaking back to the kitchen for another one.

Before long, there was hardly any left. After we discovered this, and Bri probably burst outinto tears like he always did then, I told her she was gonna turn into a Snickerdoodle. So for a day or so, I called her “little Snickerdoodle’, which was shortened to Doodle and the name stuck.

Now people all over the world know her as Doodle,which not only pisses her off, but she is mad people all over the world have heard of us at all!

Oh well, Happy Birthday Doodle!!

Isn't It a Wonderful World Emeline?

2005-09-25T23:05:00.000-07:00

RIGHT NOW!

What’s On: Law and Order

Current Mood:

Well in the revolving ddoor thatt has been my life these days there has been yet another lineup change. Bri is moving back from Florida tomorrow as we predicted we would and my daughter Emy moved out yesterday.

When she moved in last December it was temporary while we let her go thru a school training program and get a job. Now all of that is done and she found herself a little place near her job. When it comes right down to it, this is the first time she’s ever lived alone. I can imagine she is both excited and scared.

In the last 4 years, its been nice for us to be as close as we’ve been and this past year, I feel good about our role in getting her life on track. This is as close as we’ve been since she was a little girl. It was so nice to make a difference in her life that was going no where a year ago.

What’s also nice is seeing Brian and Chris, who barely knew her a year ago, be brothers to her and how close they’ve become, especially Bri who hasn’t stopped Nextel(ing) her since he left. Now with him coming home, he can’t wait to hang out at her new place and play cards, watch TV and listen to music.

I know she is going to still need me and all of us for awhile. But we have shown her how to get back in the world and we are all her family now.

Those of you who know my story with Emy, know its a strange one. I came into her life at 10 months and adopted her at age 3. When she was 8, her mother and I divorced and she married Emy’s natural father, which was a convenient scam to let him raise his "daughter” while I got the child support bill for it all!

It was many years before Emy and I would reconnect, but her “father” left her mother 4 years later and killed himself 4 years after that. Emy and I would have a chance meeting 2 years later and began to talk on the phone from time to time.

Soon she told me she was pregnant and we bonded more after Mike was born. Soon it was like we were never not together.

When she needed to get her life straightened out, it felt good to come thru for her. Now its her world, it was and is nice to be a part of it.

The Letter

2005-09-18T23:30:00.000-07:00

RIGHT NOW!

What’s On: Court TV

Current mood:

Last week was one of the most difficult weeks I’ve had in quite some time. One of the things about my work is during especially humid times, people who hurt and ache, feel worse. With last week as balmy as it was, people were really miserable and I get to be one of the people they take it out on.

During these times, there is no making them happy and no matter what you for them, it won’t be enough. There were many semi abusive people to deal with and at times it grates on your own personal psyche. You just have to try to dust yourself off and move on.

By Friday afternoon, I had about all I could take and was just counting the hours until the weekend which couldn’t arrive fast enough even if it was going to be a bad one with all this stress and strain to take home with me. But things were about to take a strange turn.

My boss Pete took me in our office and told me he got a letter from an attorney who was a patient of mine a few months back praising me to no end and going on and on selling me two steps short of Jesus. Pete went on to tell me how much he loves having me work for them and what not. After a horrible week, I just broke down. It was more emotion that I could take for one week.

I told him how bad a week I was having and how nice it was to end it with some good feedback. I also told him how much I enjoy my job and the people here. Its a relationship I hope lasts a very long time.

I went home with a copy of the letter and shared it with my family. I went to bed that night around 11 pm and slept til almost noon Saturday, something I haven’t done since college.

It still wasn’t a good week, but it was somehow worth it.

9-11

2005-09-11T21:48:00.000-07:00

This morning it was hard to watch the family members read the names of their departed 9-11 victim. It brought that period all back for me again and how these people are still very much grieving.

Some many things have happened since then and just about everything we are dealing with right now is directly or indirectly as a result of that day. Its scary to think of the impact of that day.

For me, I know that after 9-11, my brother in law had just be diagnosed with terminal cancer the week before and the way we all were changed by the experience really was my “growing up" period. The events that would happen over the next year changed my life for the better forever.

I felt trapped in a vicious life rut cycle and after the experiences that 9-11 seemed to set in motion, I like many started to become a much kinder and more decent person. I also discovered how short life is and how I wanted to live the rest of my life.

I feel bad it took so much tragedy to make me so different, but I am grateful to the brave people who went thru so much that horrible day as they may or may not know it but they made me a so much better person.

Satisfied!

2005-09-11T21:34:00.000-07:00

RIGHT NOW!

What’s On: Centerstage: Yogi Berra

Current Mood:

As most people know one of my favorite things to do is my website. I love to entertain people with my stories, but I must admit, it gets hard sometimes. Its difficult sometimes to come up with something week after week and after almost 450 straight weeks it can become tough and a little tedious at times.

Occasionally I don’t get any feedback and that can be frustrating

But this week, after ghost writing a story and trying to take on the persepctive of my grandson Mike, everyone came to life! I’ll tell ya, break out that cute face and everyone responds!

This was one of the most satisfying weeks in a long time. It was just fun and special for me to portray how he might feel and have the readers play along and have fun with it. I got more e-mails over that story, people talked about it in their Blogs and while this might not be the all time highest week, its one of the most enjoyable for me.

Should He Stay or Should He Go?

2005-09-06T23:28:00.000-07:00

RIGHT NOW!

What’s On: O’Reilly

Current Mood:

Well the first 24 hours without Bri are already in the books and my wallet is busting with the savings. No lights, no food, no motorcars not a single luxury is running. (so long Gilligan!) Therefore none of my money is being spent while I sleep or while I’m at work.

We have rearranged the house, we have a dining room again and there are lots of advantages. But as he left the house last night, he lost all control and I knew he didn’t want to leave. While we waited in the airport, he was trying to talk himself into leaving. We all lost it as he got on the plane.

Now 24 hours after landing he wants to come home. He sees the prospects for starting his life there are poor and the lies he thought might be lies...well...are.

I never wanted him to leave to begin with, I just wanted him to put his life together here, which he had a better chance of. Now maybe he sees the value of home and is ready to make this happen.

I think he forgot that he couldn't take us with him!

Strange Days Indeed

2005-08-28T22:30:00.000-07:00

RIGHT NOW!

What’s On: Celebrity Weightloss

Current Mood:

Well its the last week of the summer. Not chronologically or seasonally, but its the last week before Labor Day which is the end of the vacationing season.

I entered the summer optimistic and rightfully so. With August coming to an end there have been enough emotional ups and downs I feel like I was in a bag of Shake and Bake.

Its a weird feeling as my home is kind of breaking up. I thought I’d be the one who’d love it when everyone leaves and Doodle would be the one who’d be upset. Now she is pushing everyone out and I’m the one trying to keep it all together. I know she’s right, its time for everyone to either go or start thinking about it. Its time for us to be alone more or less.

We have a lot of stuff to do to this house and we can’t do it with too many people here, its counterproductive. They need to make it on their own now, they cost too much money!

Having Bri leaving next week is real bizarre. When I started Fun@Dave’s World he was 10 years old and a 5th grader. Now he’s 19 and moving out. He grew up on my website really.

The next few months will be very interesting. There are a lot of things up in the air right now and the next few months will set the table for what lies ahead in the next few years. Its a strange time, personally, creatively and professionally.

I miss Booter, haven’t been able to see him. September is a somber month being the time we mourn Janna every year. Everything all at once ya know?

You know what would make all the bad things feel good? If the Yankees would just win!

Day 3

2005-08-24T10:23:00.000-07:00

RIGHT NOW!

What’s On: “Only You” Josh Kelley...(the chick is hot in that vid)

Current Mood:

Vacation Day 3...

Well, I’m not getting all the sleep I thought I’d get. Just when I think I’m gonna sleep in, the alarm goes off and wakes Doodle up for work. Well, I’m not going to go back to sleep, so then I might as well get up and write stuff.

Vacation at home helps me discover all the reason why I work. What I don’t know about doesn’t hurt me. But being home, you see everything you don’t want to see and do things you don’t generally do.

For example..

I don’t think my neighbors are home, I think they went away on vacation. I wasn’t really sure but I wanted to know. They generally don’t miss anything, so I thought I’d try a test. So for a goof, I walked outside with nothing on to get the mail. They love to call the cops and when they never showed up or ratted me out to Doodle, I was able to confirm they absolutely aren’t home.

I decided to immerse myself in several clothed projects too. I’d kill the mornings watching movies and then I’d wait for Bri to get up at noon and we’d have lunch and kill and pot of coffee. Then we’d decide what part of the house we want bulldoze.

I decided on Monday for the cellar. Immediately I found a bunch of crap to toss right up the stairs to the outdoors which seemed to open up part of it. The problem with working in the cellar was after 45 mins my sinuses were on fire, but I wasn’t about to quit as I was getting quite productive.

Eventually after digging around, I found these storage tubs Doodle had been saving for awhile. I remember her buying these things a few years back at about $10 apiece. I figured they must be harboring some real treasures.

I bust these things open and found that they were all full...of crap! Nothing but garbage...old junk mail...lame magazines....saved memos and old bills from places we haven’t lived in years. Paycheck stubs...pictures of people I either don’t know or can’t stand and of course...mold and filth!

WOW this is valuable stuff worth saving for 10+ yrs.

Of course we can’t find anything important or necessary papers, but if you need to know how much lettuce was at Stop and Shop in 1993, I can help you out.

That night my sinuses were so bad and I was so nauseus and tired, I went to bed at around 9:15 pm. Some vacation, I should be staying up, slamming a Crown Royale, watching a big Yankees win and chillin’ on a cool summer night.

Instead I’m trying to keep my eyes open and hoping embarressing black boogers don’t pour from my nose at an unfortunate time. Its not exactly a cruise on the Pacific Princess is it?

What’s In a Name?

2005-08-20T10:35:00.000-07:00

RIGHT NOW!

What’s On: “Have a Nice Day” Bon Jovi

Current Mood:

Well today starts my very first vacation of my current job. After 10 months, they were kind enough to give me a week off in the ssummer, even if its at the end of it. I’m not fussy. I like vacation with the rest of them, but it takes me several days usually to get the hang of it. I don’t like being idol and I’m not one for going away.

A typical vacation for me takes days for me to start enjoying.

This year has a little different feel to it. This week last year, my last job was ending and resulted in a 68 day unemployment which was a tense and less than enjoyable time for me. It was more time off than I ever had in my life and more than I wanted. Now what a difference a year makes.

I had been searching for a job not necessarily in my field because I didn’t know if I wanted to do this anymore. I had never enjoyed being a bracemaker, but I did enjoy doing foot related items. My last job had been all foot things and I had loved it. I knew it would never be that good again.

However after searching and searching for just what I was looking for, I knew I had to get something because we were running out of money. I was due to start a job almost an hour a way for pay that wasn’t great in a few weeks, but knew in my heart it wasn’t going to be the answer. It was going to cost me more in gas than the job was worth and winter also was coming. I couldn’t imagine those outrageous rides in all the snowstorms we get.

At a whim, I threw my resume in the fax machine to a bracing company about 15 mins from here. The paper was barely thru the fax machine and the phone was ringing. Either my luck had changed or totally run out. I was hired in a matter of days.

When I started this job, I feared I was in over my head. In my field, there is two governing bodies. One with an elite status and one without. While I happen to belong to both, I was bred into the lesser. I was always on the understanding I couldn’t make it with the others.

However I worked really hard for these people and have discovered while there is some differences, I knew enough to find a good role with them. They always did seem to be keeping an arms length from me, but they let me do all the foot related braces and I developed a certain niche with them.

The more things worked out, the more they seemed to trust me. It took months for them to give me a key to the office and even then it still didn’t seem like I belonged there.

But sometime over the summer, things started to get even better. I’ve always been taught when people play a joke on you, it means you are in with them. They now feel comfortable with you and want you to feel comfortable with them. They took a Red Sox World Championship cup and put it on my desk to see if I’d snap a gasket. I also learned to play a joke back. When someone is playing a joke on you, act like you don’t notice and the joke is returned. I worked all day with the cup there no matter how much it was eating me away!

We laughed about it later on.

As I was leaving yesterday for vacation, they told me how much they felt I deserved it the time off. Then as I was leaving by myself, I left the office, looked back and remembered the first day there last October and how scared I was. When I looked at it, I got a surprise I hadn’t noticed or realized was there. My name was listed on the wall with theirs. I don’t know when they did it, they had mentioned it once or twice.

I think it means I was one of them. Its a trivial little thing, but it makes you feel welcome and like you belong someplace.

As I walked away smiling to the elevator, I realized I was leaving MY office for a well deserved vacation.

I also realized I was never happier to see my name on a wall.

When You Think You’ve Heard It All

2005-08-18T07:44:00.000-07:00

RIGHT NOW!

What’s On: Kayne West, “Diamonds”

Current Mood:

I have been working with the public all my life. I don’t think I’d have it any other way. If I had to be in a cubicle someplace and never see people and deal with the general public face to face, I just don’t think my life would ever have been the same.

The public adds a certain something to your life that you just can’t get any place else. When you think the public has done everything it can do to you, another day pops up and they do something else that can top the previous effort.

Case in point was a lady who came in with a pair of orthopedic shoes and said, “I want to bring these back, I don’t like them.”

She shows me the shoes and they looked liked they had been used to hike thru the Rockies. I asked, “When did you get them?”

“I got them here a year ago!”

“And now you decided you don’t like them?”

“They make my feet hurt.”

“When did they start making your feet hurt?” thinking she got at least half way up a mountain before hand.

“Last month.”

“But they were ok the previous 11 months?”

“I guess.”

“Well, did you think there is something wrong with your feet, not the shoes?”

“I dunno, I just don’t like them.” she hands me the shoe box. The shoe box was used for her grandson (in tow) to make a diaramma for a school project and the drawings were on the inside. So she handed me this beat up, yr old pair of shoes and a box used for a 3rd grade project for credit.

I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. I told her I can’t take a pair of shoes back after a year.

Later in the day, another lady filled out her personal information form and she listed a male name as her emergency contact. In the section that says, “Relationship” she lists him as “My Sweetheart”.

My guess is he fulfilled all 29 levels of compatibility on EHarmony! There is a full moon this week...

And That's What It's All About

2005-08-14T00:44:00.000-07:00

RIGHT NOW!

Whats On: Bad News Bears...its a long story!

Current Mood..

It was 4:30 in the afternoon on Friday and we were scrambling to get the last of our work done. All week, we had worked very hard and were getting out the work for braces we made for people, some for thousands of dollars. Paperwork was everywhere and priorities changed by the minute.

Just when we were in mid rush an old lady came in the office with her daughter, with an infection on the top of her foot and she needed a special shoe. It would have been easy to tell them to make an appointment and come back next week, but they had been too a variety of places willing to charge large sums of money, or not know what they were doing. A voice echoed inside my head of a minister I once heard who said, ‘If you want to find out what people are made of, show up at their office at 5 pm on Friday afternoon.”

I took her in back and found a special shoe that fit her, but then I knew I had to cut it so her infection could heal.

Then so the straps of the shoes didn’t bother her infection I had to remove all of them and re-sew them in different places to keep the shoe on her foot. As soon as I put it on her foot, the smile on her face said it all. Her daughter was thrilled and they went home happy and grateful. The price we collected for this item...$17

After a week of rushing around getting devices for people worth a lot of money it was a less than $20 item that meant the most to its recipient.

We watched them as they walked out the door and the clock struck 5 pm. I looked at the girls in the office and said, “That’s why we do what we do!"

Goodbye Lola

2005-08-10T00:01:00.000-07:00

RIGHT NOW!

What’s on: O’Reilly

Current mood:

This has been a surreal 2 days as I have had in awhile. If you listen to my radio cast this week, you’ll hear it all, but amongst the things that took place was saying goodbye too soon to Lola the Siamese cat.

Probably taking a page from our old cat Pia, Lola was likely lounging in the street and was more than likely hit. She must have suffered a day or so when we found her and she was too far gone. She was a tiny little cat and wasn’t able to fight that kind of pain. i’m also not mad at anyone, the cats have been playing with fire on our dead end street for years.

Usually, first thing in the morning, she used to jet into my room screaming at me the second I open the door. I already missed her doing that this morning. It was like the day wasn’t official.

I said in an earlier post that this month was already shaping up to be a disaster...I didn’t know I was turning into a modern prophet.

Another Lost Weekend

2005-08-07T22:55:00.000-07:00

RIGHT NOW!

What’s on: Yankeeography- The great Paul O’Neill

I love wasted weekends. There was too much fighting, too much bickering and not enough rest and relaxation. Free time is too valuable to waste arguing. Free time gets away from you so fast when you fight, it disappears from you so fast and then nobody feels like doing much of anything afterward.

In between this, I got to go to a wake! Imagine this was exciting in comparision to the rest of the two days. Now Monday is here and its time to start doing our thing again.

I can’t wait for vacation in a couple of weeks and maybe have Booter here for a couple of days! That to me is time well spent as the world comes to a standstill when he is around.

In the meantime, I can plan for next weekend. I don’t know what I’m doing, but I can tell you what I’m not doing!

PICNIC!

2005-08-06T11:58:00.000-07:00

WHAT’S ON: Yankees Encore..Yanks win 6-2 over Toronto

A company picnic...has there ever been contradiction in words like that? When is your company ever a picnic? Worse yet, how about a company picnic intended to entertain referral sources?

What do you do?...How do you act?...Do you drink?...Not drink? Do you ask them to participate in picnic like activities or do you let them make the gestures? Is eating acceptable!?

Is it worse that our referral sources are doctors? The snobby and phony factors can go right off the charts!

All week long my secretary Kathie and I have been dreading this event. We even debated once or twice not going. We set a time limit of 90 minutes we were going to spend at this event certifying this as a token appearance and say we were there.

We drove there and it was hotter than snot, even though it was on the beach. There was nobody there yet and we just kind of putz around figuring our hour and a half would come and go.

Then one of our bosses, Pete has his jet ski on hand and Kathie says she’d like to try it out. So they go off toward the water and I was socializing with another co-worker from another office. A young hot chick (age 18) from the same office said outloud, “I wish I brought my baseball glove.”

It just so happens, I brought two with a baseball. She looks at me and says, ‘YOU DID?”

Then she gets a somber look and says, “Yeah, but I’m left handed.”

“So I am.” I replied, ‘I have two lefty gloves!” I had a new friend.

We passed the baseball for about 45 minutes, chasing fly balls and what not. She was clearly well schooled baseball-wise. Someone came by and said, “Hey Dave, you could’ve used a friend like her about 25 years ago, huh?”

The girl looks at me and says, “How old are you?”

I don’t answer as the person says, "All of his kids are older than you!”

After the ‘Oh my God’s” and ‘'I never would’ve thought thats’’ were out of the way, I found out she has a bad home life and someone said later on, “I think she wishes you were her dad now.” That to me is the ultimate compliment.

Soon people filtered in and I introduced myself to one or two, and wound up having a football pass with one of the people we were there to entertain. My throwing arm was growing really tired and just as my luck would have it, his beeper went off and he had to go the hospital. For once a beeper saved me.

Next more people filtered in and as it turned out, many of the people I was supposed to meet for the first time, I already knew and even wound up introducing my bosses to a few people and usually a party wallflower, I was company social butterfly.

“How do you know these people?” Pete asked. After 17 yrs in the medical community...I replied

“Do you think my ass just crawled in here an hour ago?” Pete is a lot younger than me and he laughed. Then he heard about the baseball gloves and it just so happens, he is left handed as well. He smiled and said, “That’s Dave, always prepared for something! How many people would have TWO gloves for a lefty?”

We also wound up playing some doctors in horseshoes and by the time we knew what was going on, I asked Kathie what time it was, and it turned out we had stayed 4 hours!

We didn’t just have a token appearance, we had like...I dunno...FUN?

We were driving home and Kathie saw a sunset over the water, one I had seen there many times before. She wanted a picture and I told her to go photograph it. When she was done I told her to send me a copy of it.

For some reason I think I’d like a souvenier of an evening well spent as well as a reminder that things we think are going to be bad can often be really good..

Slippin' Away

2005-08-04T07:30:00.000-07:00

RIGHT NOW

What’s on: History of the Yankees Pt 1

Current Mood: Paranoid

This summer is half over and while I can’t say, “WOW WHAT A GREAT SUMMER ITS BEEN”, quietly its been a nice one to this point. For me, summer has always been a flip of a coin, really good or really bad and a 50/50 chance of either.

Have done some nice things this summer, work had been going well to this point, the website is doing well for a summer time, the new radio show is taking off pretty nicely. Personal relations are going pretty well, no one is getting on anyone’s nerves too much right now. Isn’t it always just when things seem to be going ok that they take a turn for the worse when you least suspect.

There are a few things going on right now that make me feel like as quickly as this went well it can go in the toilet. Nothing major mind you, just a suspicion. I know everyone feels like when their life is going well, they wonder when can go wrong to make it go away. Its like some people are conditioned to think this way.

Some people however think when everything is going right, what by then can go wrong? I wish I could be one of those people, I guess we are usually one or the other.

I for one feel like this good summer is slippin’ away and for once, I hope I’m wrong.

Big Brother

2005-07-31T13:23:00.000-07:00

RIGHT NOW!

What’s On: “Jesse” Julian Lennon (THANKS BUDDY!)

Current Attitude: Peaceful

When I was a youngin’, my Dad was our local King of Soccer. He was involved with all the arranging and organizing and was often quite busy. He also sometimes worked 3 jobs and couldn’t always be around. I liked soccer, but I LOVED baseball and hockey.

Dad wanted to make sure I got to do some of the things I enjoyed and I had a kindred spirit in a guy we had gotten to know from one of my Dad’s part time jobs. A young guy named Glenn was the assistant director of the recreation center and he and I hit it off quickly. By the time I was 9 years old, I had a little job at the rec center too, doing game stats for basketball and softball and would work there from time to time until I was 16.

Glenn would run trips to Yankee Stadium and a few other places and always just sign my name next to his because he knew I’d go. Dad would just give him the money whenever and I’d be on the trip. He became like a 2nd dad to me and it was joked in my family he was like “my other father”.

Sometimes my Dad would buy tickets and give them to him to take me places. We had a lot of fun and there are a lot of stories in my life directly attributed to him.

His job at the rec center was fun and games. He got to sit and talk sports all day and he was a perfect fit because he was like a little kid.

Glenn took a job in another town a few years later when he got passed over for the directors job in favor of a former classmate of his in college. I think I’d leave too.

We lost touch and other than a passing chance meeting he had with my mom, I haven’t seen Glenn in 25 years at least. Recently thru a professional encounter with a friend of his wife’s (a physical therapist), I will hopefully have a chance to see him and say hello. I remember her as well and she was a delightful person too.

It makes for a great anticipation to see someone so important to my young life again.

One really funny story attributed to him had to do with him trying to get some educational credit. Glenn was required for credits to teach a class or directly run a program himself each year for points toward his certification. So one day everyone was checking out the programs at the Rec Center and all got a good laugh.

In his infinite wisdom, he decided to run a weightlifting program. A fit but very slight man, Glenn’s usual weightlifting seemed to be of the 12 oz variety. This was like reading the funny papers. Soon every person who knew him from the rec department was calling up and asking to talk to “Muscles Glenn’...”Glenn Schwartzenegger” ,”Hercules”, “Mr Olympia” and anything else they could think of. Pictures arrived by mail of Glenn’s head pasted to the top of bodies on muscle mags.

People were signing up and paying money just for the opportunity to laugh at him. The class filled up quickly and soon the laughs would be on them.

At the last minute, due to all the jokes and what not, he dropped out and got one of the real local muscle heads to run the class and then they were sorry. The REAL teacher pounded on all the jokester, making them work out big time and yelling at them, exhausting these less than fit people who only signed up to watch what they thought was going to be a joke.

People dropped out and no refunds were offered! Served everyone right!

I can't wait to see him soon and laugh at some of the old stories from a real good influence of my life!

Take a Look Around

2005-07-29T07:53:00.000-07:00

RIGHT NOW

What’s On: Yankeeography Catfish Hunter

Current Mood: In Friday Mode

Its Friday morning and I didn’t need a calendar to tell me its Friday morning. My body and mood are telling me what day it is fine. Friday should make you ambitious, full of fight and wanting to cut loose and do something...have some fun, or get something accomplished in your life.

Heheee..no. Friday just means your tired and you want to go home. But you look around home and there is too much to do here too. I want to tear this place apart and start over. We need a whole new everything.

But I look in my wallet and what little bit of ambition I have left is gone. Money would bring me to life! That would help me take a look around and get this place looking like I want it and how it deserves to look.

But where to get it...where you say...well we’ll rob a bank of course...no wait...that won’t work...

Ahh but robbery is the key word. I’ve been getting robbed for years.

Its time to end the party. Its time to take it back, Dave.

Happy Birthday Huntie

2005-07-27T07:47:00.000-07:00

RIGHT NOW!

What's On: "You and Me" Lifehouse

Current Attitude: Drained

Happy 18th birthday to Hunter. I can't believe I'm wishing him a happy 18th, I've already known him since he was 12 and its always a pleasure to have him as a friend and someone around who we can help with each others projects.

He's headed off to college and will have a lot going on soon, but we wish him the best in days ahead!

Optimism

2005-07-26T12:34:00.000-07:00

RIGHT NOW!

What's on: WEBE 108..Test of the Emergency Alert System
Current Mood: Weary

Its damn hot out.

Pulled off the parkway onto Dixwell Avenue in Hamden heading for my old stomping ground near Southern CT St University where I went to school. Greeted by the Steve Miller Band and then J. Geils Band's "Centerfold" back to back. For a few minutes it was 1982 again. They were fun times.

Today its not the nicest of places, it even had it moments back then.

As I reached my desitination, I must have thought it was still '82. I left my car unlocked, windows open, cell phone and PDA on my seat. (of course neither of those items existed in '82!)I came out 20 minutes later and much to my surprise, both were still there on my seat.

Either this neighborhood has grown soft or maybe things are getting better. I want to believe the latter. Either way, it was a nice day to ride down Dixwell again.

Old songs, the old neighborhood but new technology. No one stole any of it.

Nothing Compares 2 Boo

2005-07-25T20:44:00.000-07:00

RIGHT NOW!

What’s On: Fox News, That Greta Lady

Current Attitude: Discouraged

I was with my grandson Mike (Booter) over the weekend. Our visits are like they have always been, except they have a different feel to them now. With him living with his father and not my daughter, I don’t get to see him as much as I used to and I miss him incredibly.

I get to see him once a month and the nice thing is he seems thrilled to see me and often picks things up right where we left off. I could tell he misses me too, but its like he has accepted things this way. I suppose I should too.

Still he has a nostalgic thing to him. He gets in my car and asks to hear the same songs he’s always liked. His favorite is Hall and Oates, “Life’s Too Short” which he calls the “Booter Booter” song because we sing his nickname to it. He always is happy going to the playground, getting a slushie, and lunch.

He still likes the same games we’ve been playing there since he was 2. Its amazing how much he remembers.

Its nice that Booter is still affectionate and now that I don’t get to hug him as much as I used to, when I do now, it means so much more to me. When I hugged him the other day, it felt like I better enjoy it because they aren’t as frequent as they used to be. I simply have never loved another person more than him and I never knew how much you can love someone until he came into my life.

He’s really made my life complete from the day he toddled up to me, grabbed my leg with both arms and looked up to me with the same look he still does from time to time. We have pictures together from his first birthday, he hung with me the whole day.

I remember being at a wake for a family member my daughter went to. She had no babysitter and so I sat with him and kept him company. We sat on the ground and killed a bag of M&M’s, his face was every color. But then he hugged me goodbye and we were tight from then on. A few days later we were at a party and he and I killed a plate of food together. He just kept coming back up to me with his mouth open. He cried when I left.

We spent just about every Friday together after that, sometimes I’d take him home for the weekend. I think he knew when Friday was coming. Its like he knew I was coming over. He’d see my van and bust out of the house to see me. I remember him hearing my voice when he was in his crib and climbing out because he knew I came over, screaming my name.

I remember putting Booter to bed at night sometimes and Emy would put Delilah on the radio for him. As soon as he’d hear her voice, he’d fall asleep. Once he was riding in my van and Delilah was on and he fell asleep. I swear today he’d fall asleep now hearing her voice!

I already have such wonderful memories of the things we’ve done and places we’ve gone. The picture of Booter and me sits next to my computer and burning candle. I look at him everyday and think of the days gone by and ahead. I pray we will have many more memories in front of us!

The Big Meltdown

2005-07-23T08:39:00.000-07:00

current song on: “Chariot” Gavin Degraw
current attitude: good

Well I looked outside and it was just as I suspected, all the snow is gone from last winter. I’m ok with that. One of the things that seems finally officially gone from last winter as well, is the weight I put on. It just doesn’t GO away anymore, you have to MAKE it go away. Encourage it to go away, bribe it at times..offer it a deal.

The fact that it is a hundred degrees every day also makes it easier, when every ounce of liquid you have cconsumed in the last 12 years comes out of your body in one day.

There are a million and 4 weight loss plans these days, low carb, high carb, low fat..etc..counting points..you name it

Some people have these diets that they can get all this food and lose weight. . However the only way for me to trim the excess, is to go hungry, which can be fatal, ESPECIALLY for Italian people. Thankfully starvation deaths are down in Italy.

Finding out my cholesterol was high didn’t make me happy, so I embarked on a quest to get it down and if I lost weight in the process, this was a good thing. I walk 2 miles every night for years so this was no problem. The process was easy...eat 7 servings of fruit and veggies a day. The jokes were flying around the office that I had gone south and no fun when it came time to order out. Also trying to tempt me by saying I didn’t actually need to lose weight...which I have been hearing from many. We all know this is the voice of the Devil telling me to eat some cake.

Me, the King of the Candy dish at the office was disappointing everyone. The candy remains, I just have less of it and give more away. Thats a big key, to give away more candy than you eat, this will help you lose weight...Tootsie Rolls don’t count, you have to have 25 of them a day to make 20 fat calories. I can’t eat 25 Tootsie rolls a week!

The process didn’t have immediate results.

However the fruits of my labor, (no pun intended) were really starting to show when I tried on a pair of size 36 pants and they fell right to my knees! SUCCESS! I don’t have a stomach anymore, it has been downgraded to a tummy!

(The 5 grades are:..gut, stomach, tummy, abdomen, abs, anorexia!)

When I was going to my physical therapy clinic I work at on Wednesdays, I walked in and could tell there was a joke going on as two of the more sarcastic PT’s had Satanic expressions on.

“Dave” one starts, “You look really good lately.”

I look suspiciously at them both like I know they are messing around. The other one goes, “Yeah, you look really hot. Nice and trim” Now I know they’re up to something. Then they can’t contain themselves any longer when one goes, “Your hair looks super.” Those who know me minus a Yankee hat know I have no hair. I almost busted out laughing. Then they wanted me to turn around.

“NO!” I told them and then they broke out in hysterics. Another therapist came over and said, “What’s going on?”

“Oh these two worked out a good joke on me!” I laughed.

One replied, “You know we love you right?”

“You must” I answered, “You spent 5 minutes to work out a joke on me before I got here.”

You know I LIVE for negative attention right? Middle kid syndrome.

The next day I came to work and there was a 5 lb bag of candy on my desk. Have I been THAT grouchy that they are trying to tell me something?

None the less, I feel good, whatever I’m doing, its working. After all if it wasn’t, no one would say anything at all!

"7"

2005-07-19T00:28:00.000-07:00

Over the last week, HBO has been debuting a movie about the life of Mickey Mantle. I haven’t seen it yet, it hasn’t been on when I can watch it, but I understand it is well made. I also understand they spend a great deal of time on his shortcomings, which are just as much a part of who we are as our good traits.

Mantle was one of those people who never understood why so many people loved him. People admired Mantle and Mantle admired them. He thought he was just a ball player, the important people were the ones who did the hard work and people who were smart. He had that “Aww shucks” Southern way about him. He was almost childlike in his behavior and mannerisms. Yet he was the kind of person who was so unassuming, that he was scared he’d let people down. Mantle’s hook was his simplicity. He was the kind of man who other grown men wrote him fan letters, like a relative of mine.

He reduced talented and cerebrally blessed men like Billy Crystal and Bob Costas to children in his presence to the point where their love and admiration of him, became a central focus of their lives. They loved him as a child and wanted to be him and then as adults, got to live their dream of just being his friend.

Mantle’s life was ruined by his drinking, but everyone who knew him knew he was a tragic figure really.

When I was a little kid, I knew Mickey Mantle was a baseball player, but to me at age 5 or so, I just knew him as the man who ate oatmeal in a Maypo commercial. I had only heard how wonderful he was from others. I never got to see him play a real game.

But like Billy Crystal describes his first visit to Yankee Stadium, he walked in and only had seen it in black and white on TV. The colors came to life when he first came inside as did the player with #7 on his shirt. Mantle signed an autograph for him that day and then hit a home run that nearly left the Stadium altogether. Everything he had heard was true.

I stepped in there in 1972 and went to Old Timers Day. I too fell in love with what I had only seen on black and white TV. The Stadium was old and falling apart, but I loved it just the same. I saw the man with the #7 on his back and all the people around him and my youthful eyes could see the sun shone a little brighter around him.

Mantle had stopped playing a few years earlier, but he would participate in this exhibition game. The players can’t play like they once did, but occasionally you get a glimpse at what once was.

He stepped into the plate to a rousing applause and then took the first pitch and took the swing I always heard he possessed and the ball hit the bat and made a sound I had never heard with my 9 year old ears. My jaw dropped as the ball took off like it had been shot out of a cannon and but I was able to follow it as it went foul.

I thought I would never hear that noise again. I had been watching and playing baseball games for a few years and I never heard a ball hit a bat like that.

I waited for the next pitch, hoping I’d hear that sound again. Mantle didn’t disappoint me, he took his mighty swing and the ball made that unbelievable sound, but this time the ball went for a home run.

As 60,000 people stood and applauded, I watched him round the bases and now knew why everyone loved him. He never let anyone down. Even 4 years after he stopped playing, he still was making people happy. Everything I had heard was true too.

I know there were people in his life that were less than satisfied with him, yet he was so flawed he was perfect if that makes sense. He was perfect in his humaness.

He was one of a kind and why 10 years after his death, people are still talking about him.

An Amazingly Ungraceful Friday

2005-07-16T08:54:00.000-07:00

Sometimes you just want to get the week over with, especially while things are going ok. Quit while you’re ahead I always say. Its not a bad thing. However, I don’t get such a luxury. In my office, Friday afternoons are ripe for the pickins, dressed up with a variety of nuts, weirdos and whackadoodles. They just wander in, no appointments and want to be seen right away.

Over the years of doing what I do its become something to expect. Today we had another lulu!

These two 400 lb ladies come in, with a little kid maybe 8 yrs old and weighing about 200 lbs. They want to be seen right away and also want me to see them before others who have appointments. Luckily it hadn’t been too bad and we got the one who needed too be seen in. The three of them were brought into a room, and they filled it rather quickly with size and smell. Bathing obviously wasn’t high on their list.

They spent a few minutes to lecture me on how the world hasn’t learned to make rooms or devices for fat people and how we should all be ashamed of ourselves. I love it when people feel the world needs to conform to them and not that they should help themselves get healthy.

Suddenly out of no where one of their cell phones goes off playing “Amazing Grace”. The lady looked at her cell phone and “DAMMIT! WHAT THE F**K DOES HE WANT..I’M SICK OF HIS G*D DAMN SH*T.”

I couldn’t help thinking while this tender Hymn was playing, this woman was cursing openly and using the name of the Lord in vane! She looks at me and said, “Its my G*D damn husband.”

I look at her and think, “Its married? There’s more than one stupid bastard on this planet I guess.”

She sighs and says, “Probably wants me to pick something up at that fu*kin’ church!”

I left the room and thought to myself, “Ahh Christianity.”

After awhile I got to thinking if I was Jesus and saw who is following Him these days, I think I would’ve demanded at lawyer at my trial.

Thankfully spirituality isn't for the perfect or we'd all be screwed!

Oops..did I say that?

When We Were the World

2005-07-13T22:05:00.000-07:00

Its hard to believe today is 20 years since the Live Aid Concert. My daughter Emy and I won the DVD the other day and have been watching it since because I hate the baseball All Star game.

As I watch this video, I remember the day. It was hot as heck in Rhode Island, I spent the day alternating between the concert and the wading pool with then 3 year old Emy. The performers looks just like we last left some of them. This was when they were their most famous and for me, many of them are frozen in time.

That whole period was frozen in time really, but there was nothing frozen about that day. Warmth was the order of the day, not just in the weather, but all around. There was a feel good side to this show on both sides of the pond, at Wembley Stadium and the now razed JFK Stadium in Philadelphia.

I had watched a lot of soccer games from Wembley over the years on video, but this is the way I will always picture Wembley. Full of people cheering the performances of British music icons of the time, hastily assembled to fulfill Bob Geldof’s vision of a fed Africa. Geldof quite brazenly moved this forward and regardless of the PR backlash he received that many people felt this was to advance his own agenda, few could really question Geldof’s heart.

Here in the US, the nice thing about what was going on was that it was now cool to be charitable. The celebs we loved were telling us so. The nice thing was we were getting to see our favorites all pretty much in one day. If there was someone you were a fan of, chances are they performed somewhere that day. Sadly, some of the best performances were lost that day as the media took Geldof at face value in his request that this was supposed to be a one time broadcast, never to be taped or re-broadcast. The Brits didn’t take him seriously, the Americans did. The BBC had just about all the concert available, minus the ones that were lost to disasters of the day. (if you’ve ever worked live TV, you know what I mean)

The majority of the US version was found unceremoniously thrown in a vault at the MTV studios, uncataloged or labled.

I think what amazed me the most about Live Aid was what the whole world could do together if we put our minds to it. It took an entertainment event to get everyone to focus on the same thing. Sadly the world can’t just get together on other things the same way unless we add rock stars.

That day we had a friend over to watch the big event. We drank beer, ate lobster we couldn’t afford and made the most of the day. In retrospect, I now realized that even though we were relatively poor in those days, the fact we could make a day out of a TV concert and chow down, made me realize the importance of what was in front of me.

The saturation of “AID” shows that followed were never held a candle to the master event. As a matter of fact, by 1988 the onslaught of causes that were trying to be saved thru music, almost hurt some musical careers as people began to see them more as high paid activists and not musicians.

The mere fact that 20 years later people still talk about this one is a tribute to how special this day was.

I can remember that as night fell, Emy knew she was going to stay up for Hall and Oates as all the airplay they got at our house made them her fave. They were on tour at the time, unlike many of the other groups, so their performance was much tighter than many other people's. Even after they were done performing with the Temptations that night, she really didn’t want to go to bed. Maybe realizing that even she knew something important was going on.

As the bedtime negotiating process continued, she saw coming on the screen, Lionel Richie. She knew him and screamed.."LIONEL RICHIE...LIONEL RICHIE!"

She knew what would be coming next as he was going to sing her favorite song, the encore for the night, “We are the World.”

She didn’t know what it meant or why anyone was singing it. That kind of thing doesn’t matter to a kid that age.

A full belly of lobster and a night of music was enough to keep her happy. She had no idea how lucky she was, kids just take things for granted.

Twenty years later, we were in the car together when we heard a trivia contest on the radio for Live Aid asking who backed Mick Jagger and Tina Turner at Live Aid. I knew it was Hall and Oates and she placed the call to the radio station and we won the concert video.

The Live Aid concert touched us when it aired and it still does 20 years later. Now we get to live it all over again.

Lobster anyone?

Step On a RAAAAT!

2005-07-11T20:55:00.002-07:00

I love my cats...I really do. I have to keep telling myself that. After all they never stop surprising me. They also never stop trying to show me how much they love me and how smart they are.

Cats and chicks have a lot in common, they love you a whole bunch as long as you’re buying!..(*DUCK DAVE DUCK!) Why my cats adore me at feeding time and many times right after they don’t want to interact. Sound familiar? However in the end they only want to make you happy!

Now and then, if you are a cat owner, you know they have to thank you for all the wonderful things you do for them. After all, if you don’t think your cat is grateful, think again. Your cat is more than happy you’re their owner. After all, if you didn’t own them, they’d be stuck on the streets all winter feeding out of garbage cans. You think your cat doesn’t know this? They watch TV, they go online..they know the statistics...what the hell you think they do all day when you’re not home.

I used to have a cat who knew how to put the TV on and they’d be sitting there watching when we came home. Cats know there are very real threats out there. No matter how paranoid you are, they’re more paranoid.

Cats feel like they have to save you from all that life ails you with, especially creatures from the beyond, who the cat is sure is going to invade yours and their way of life.

Birds, squirrels, flies are big threats to you not to mention the other cats in the house are major problems to each cat. They are determined to bring them down and make you proud. Its like your kid bringing home an A! You also have to tell them how wonderful they are.

Of course, everything comes with its own set of drawbacks. For example, while your cat is out chasing birds, the blue jays are taking exception and are plotting to poke your cat square in the ass. Its almost funny to see 3 jays swarming around to wreck your cat who thought he was so cool. Strength in numbers they always say.

Sometimes you are the recipient of the drawbacks. This morning I stepped outside to head out for work and nearly made a header myself as I stepped on and squished a dead rat my beloved cats brought home for me. After I cleaned my shoe off and disinfected it, I went to work thinking this can’t be any kind of a good day if it starts off stepping on a dead rat.

Well on the way to work, listening to the radio, my daughter and I win a Live Aid DVD box set, with me answering the question and her calling in the answer. I get to work to find out my boss had been just telling a few people how good I’ve been to work with and how much they like me there.

If everyday went the way today did...nah, I’ll pass. My shoes still smell bad enough!

Success vs Failure

2005-07-08T19:38:00.000-07:00

Our friend Deanna has about 12,578 kids...

As I have stated before it is determined that everyday you get up, there is a better than 1 in 30 chance its one of our friend Deanna’s kids birthdays. Those odds are so good, that really we should just get up and call over there and find out if its anyone’s birthday. Its too hard to keep score of all those birthdays.

Deanna’s house should do what the nursing homes do, and just have a monthly party!

I tried several ways to remember them all. I lost all my date books, wrote myself notes and tied string to my fingers to try to remember. I had so much string tied to me that my hands when numb and almost needed an amputation.

I tried computerizing and getting an e-mail sent to me each time its one of their birthdays. But my mail program simply thought I was being spammed and sent the e-mails to the junk folder and I never got them. I went out and purchased a reminder program and the computer told me I was out of memory. Uh, yeah, that’s why I bought you!

So then we tried the system that Deanna would call Doodle early in the week and invite us to the party. This would give us time to shop for it and be there on time. Then the next Monday, Deanna would call me up all mad saying, “Where the hell were you Saturday?”

“What was Saturday?” I’d reply with a question.

“It was (insert name here) birthday!”

“I didn’t know.”

“Oh, I get it, SHE didn’t tell you.” The scene would repeat itself every other weekend. Deanna would then ask her why we didn’t come over, just to see what she’d say. “Oh HE (meaning me) didn’t want to go over, he was in one of his moods!”

I LOVE kid birthday parties, they are such a blast and kids live for them and it shows. I love CAKE! All you have to tell me its someone’s birthday and I am generally there without dispute.

Deanna knew I wasn’t the one behind the problem. I told her, call ME up the week of a party! So she did. “I’m calling you because the bitch will forget on purpose!”

Yet that week we didn’t forget a birthday. I had us all prepared, got the kid a nice thoughtful gift and showed up with bells on.

After the fun, I said to Deanna, “See how well this works? You call me, here we are...on time...great presents bought..fun had by all?”

I got a filthy look from Doodle, but the truth is the truth. I had to take it further, “See what happens when you tell a Ginny instead of a Polock? Stuff works out huh?”

Sometimes the difference between success and failure is who you tell!

Journey to the Center of a Baseball

2005-07-04T13:30:00.000-07:00

A nice early summer day. The day before the 4th of July, I was done cutting my lawn. A little sweat trickled from my head. I sat down in a chair to over look the fine grooming job I did to my grass. I had no where to go this weekend and liked it that way. I remember all the days cutting the lawn when I was young, when my father could catch me to do it.

When the lawn was done back then, I’d sit outside for awhile, listen to the unmistakable sounds of summer. Other neighbors buzzing their lawns or hedge trimmers. Kids playing, my parents probably fighting and me looking for something to lose my mind in.

As I sat there, I remember taking a wrecked baseball and seeing the cover was coming off. While it was sacrilege to tear up a baseball when I was a kid, I wanted to learn all about on. After unwinding what seems like miles and miles of string and yarn of various colors and grades, the middle was just a chunk of rubber. It took almost a half hour to reach the center.

Today as I sat in my chair over looking my lawn, I saw a baseball coming apart and decided to take the long journey that I hadn’t taken in almost 30 years. I began the unwinding process to the same sounds I probably heard years ago.

People working on their lawns, kids playing, some early fireworks and an argument coming from my house.

Doodle comes outside and asks, “What the hell are you doing?”

“Dissecting a baseball, it has been years since I’ve done this.”

“Why are you doing that?”

“Because I can and because I haven’t done this since I was a kid.”

Bri comes outside and sees she’s getting on me and says, “Leave the guy alone, he’s having a rare peaceful moment.”

She walks away as I continued to unravel. As I did, I thought about being a kid and how innocent life was and how much life has changed since I last unwrapped a baseball. I love baseball and I love to see how a baseball ticks.

Things are so different now, I’m the dad now, much of my family has come and gone and no one sees each other as much as they used to. But as I rolled away the miles and miles of string, I finally reached the inside and realized something.

The neighborhood is different, its a different lawn, different neighbors grooming their lawn, different little kids playing and different people arguing in the house. Yet no matter what changes, the middle of the baseball is still the same, just a chunk of rubber.

I also realized I’m pretty blessed to be living some place where I can sit on a Sunday afternoon after cutting my own grass, and unroll a baseball and not worry about anything.

Happy 4th everyone, find something mindless to do. Because you can...

Tim Nunes

2005-07-02T11:37:00.000-07:00

A few years back, the web was starting to bust with a new concept, writing portals.

They gave the opportunity to amateur writers to free write everyday, earn some points toward financial rewards and get yourself a new audience as well as possibly attract the attention of someone who could help you get some kind of writing fame.

In essence, we were becoming semi-professional writers, like the semi pro baseball players for $10 and all the beer you can drink.The concept was we would write stories, the website would get advertisers who would pay them and we would either buy products from these advertisers and the site would pay us. Well we weren’t on these sites to buy stuff from advertisers, we were there to write, read and be read. When the advertisers didn’t make money, they pulled their ads.

I joined up, because my website then approaching its 3rd year was still pretty much a friends and family outfit, where that was the extent of my audience. I needed to find out if I was any good, hoping to gain some respect from other writers. Then hopefully I could turn them into fans of my website and me for them as well.

From the day I posted my first story, I knew this was going to change things drastically. My first post was received with huge response and more from there. I gained an interesting following, who also went on to become readers of F@DW.

One of the people in the audience was a short story writer named Tim Nunes. While his stories varied from biographical, to sci-fi and fantasy to mysteries and then some, I saw something of me in his work and he saw something of him in mine. We were vastly different in style, but the meanings were clearly similar.

We were all hanging on to the day when someone important would notice our work, knowing almost none of us would ever see that day. Almost none of us would ever really get paid from these portals. Most of them would go bankrupt before they could get around to paying the writers.

We moved on from portal to portal, not expecting to be paid anymore, just hoping for audience. Thankfully people like Tim were there for me and me for him. As a result of these people, growth in new friends, family and co-workers and many other referrals, my audience quadrupled in 2002 and F@DW became more than a website for myself and many, it was kind of a weekly laugh club where people could be involved and interact.

The other day, I was thrilled to find out, the big call came for Tim Nunes, a story of his was bought and he finally became a professional writer. Long overdue and I can’t be happier for such a great guy and writer. Its a shame its likely not enough for him to quit his day job, but one thing leads to another I hope!

TWO SCOOPS WAY UP FOR TIM!

Keeper of the Flame

2005-06-30T19:19:00.000-07:00

Someone asked me recently, "How would you feel if someone ripped off something you wrote and it got published in something important?"

The short answer is Thrilled!

If someone thought enough of what I do to steal it, I think I'd take it as a complement.

On a smaller scale, this may have taken place.

A few years ago I did a story on F@DW called 10-2-78. It was about a wild summer in my life full of jibes about the Red Sox and a bunch of other comments. One day when I was on the road, my daughter calls me up with her Rhode Island paper saying, "Oh, there is a cute story in the paper today that sounds like something you'd write."

She begins to read it to me and some of my comments are being read to me verbatim!

All of the sudden, I can hear my son Dave yell in the background, "WHERE ARE YOU READING THAT, MY FATHER WROTE THAT!"

Dave comes into the room and begins to read the article, complete with my quips and even the utilization of the personal, childhood aspects of the story. The only difference was it was obviously slanted and changed enough to sound like it came from a Red Sox fan, not a Yankees fan.

From day 1, Dave has been the keeper of the F@DW flame. Always in search of an angle that might make him money, even if it means me dying to make it happen, Dave has always believed the weekly stories actually may have some cash value someday. He has staked claim to my library of stories post mortum, which can't happen fast enough for him.

"THAT STORY IS STOLEN!" he shouted out.

Emy kept reading it out loud, laughing and said, “This is cute. This story is so good.”

"OF COURSE IT IS, MY FATHER WROTE IT!” Dave screamed.

Now completely incensed that my story might have ripped off and that there might be lost revenue, Dave was on a mission to get to the bottom of this.

After some research, he found out that the Rhode Island paper was owned by the same company that owned my town paper. One staff member was on the F@DW mailing list. When the RI paper was contacted to ask for the writer, it turned out to be a phony name. While we never actually got to the bottom of it, then it was just as well. There was no going back and anyway, I found it to be cool for some reason.

As mad as Dave was, I think I was complimented! It isn’t everyday when real writers need to rip of amateurs.

Of course Red Sox fans need to ride our coat tails!

Immortalized

2005-06-26T21:45:00.000-07:00

Sometimes when you say something no matter how innocently, you take a risk of it coming back when you least expect it.

The words of children are great for this. Kids just say stuff. They don't know everyone will remember them...even 20 years later. They express themselves, wait for the results and then move on to the next thing. Its as simple as that.

My daughter Emy was 4 years old when we were over my grandmother's house. We taught the kids to make sure they thank people who do something for them, but my grandmother was the kind that she would pay you to come over and eat her food. You know, the Italian grandmother type that can't feed enough people.

At the conclusion of the meal and right before our departure, she looked at my grandmother and said innocently enough, "Thanks for making us dinner." For some reason, this was found to be hilariously funny by the rest of my family, especially my brother Mike who couldn't say it enough times for effect.

Emy was slightly embarressed by the response she got for something she thought was simply being polite, which was the way she was taught.

As a result of my divorce, she and I had an unusual relationship over the years, yet her phrase lived on as people continued to say her line to my grandmother at the end of all meals consumed at her house.

When my grandmother passed, it would've actually been a good choice for her gravestone, she lived to make dinner for people. Yet Emy's line would find its way into another somewhat important event.

The other night was the wedding rehearsal for my brother Chris. A toast was proposed and then my brother Mike publically thanked the restaurant people for the evening for the the fine food...

"Thanks for making us dinner!" he said gleefully almost childlike, like the child who once said it!

My mother asked me who had said that and I told her it was Emy some 20 yrs ago.

When I went home, Emy, who now lives with us was on the couch watching TV. Because she is an adopted child, sometimes she feels like she doesn't really belong. I needed to tell her the story of her classic line she hardly remembers saying.

When I told her about what happened at the wedding rehearsal, a huge smile came over her face. It made her day to know the family remembered the most innocent line of her childhood and that it had survived 20 yrs.

"Em" I told her, 'You've been immortalized!"

Of course isn't it amazing the only thing people remember about us are the things we probably prefer they would forget!

The Legs

2005-06-24T07:41:00.000-07:00

My family is somewhat used to knowing that my profession may lead me to bring home in my car, well...some interesting looking things. Making orthopedic items means when they open my trunk they may find something they didn't expect and that on the surface there is a little Jefferey Damer in their dad.

Normally its no big deal. I have heard other stories from other family members. One lady I work with had a dad who was a world reknowned orthotist/prosthetist (brace maker/limb maker) and she said there were fake legs, arms and what not all over her house where she saw it as the norm.

Having to explain this to friends and visitors is often fun. My mechanic opened my trunk once and he asked me, "Why do you have body parts in your trunk? Do we need to be concerned?"

"No, just fix the car right...or else!"

The other day, Emy and Bri borrowed my car and they went to the store. Suddenly I get a phone call.

"Hello!"

"THERE'S 3 LEGS IN YOUR BACK SEAT!"

"Oh yeah, about the legs." I begin to explain calmly, "They're fake..of course, worth more than real legs."

"Huh?"

"Uh , yeah you have about $100,000 worth of body parts in the back seat there. Um, lock the door."

Bri says, "I don't think anyone will bother us for some reason."

Good point...

Pizza and Vodka

2005-06-22T20:41:00.000-07:00

I got up this morning and the house looked lived in as usual. When I get up, I can usually tell their has been one of the many famous over night parties, where the kids stay up until the wee hours, order food, laugh, play cards, watch TV and make a shit house mess. Then they just fall asleep around it.

I'll take a picture sometime, it'll make you laugh.

This morning, I could see a 3/4 empty half gallon of vodka sitting next to Emy as well as pizza evidence. When I woke her this morning for work, she looked at me and said, "Dad, I don't feel good! I don't think I'm going in."

A little disturbed, I thought 'Oh yeah, she was up chowing pizza and drinking vodka and NOW she doesn't feel good!'

When I left this morning she was up and looking at me and I said, 'Must have been quite a party, vodka, pizza...hmm?" Thinking her stomach hurts and she has a headache.

She looked at the vodka bottle and what not and said, "I didn't drink that, I slept all night. My sinuses hurt!'

She appeared to be telling the truth.

Doodle called me and said, "Oh, she called out, huh...all that pizza and drinking til all hours huh?"

I told her Emy said she didn't do it.

Of course 34 ''a likely stories" followed.

Bri calls me up to ask me a question and we started talking about her calling out. I also mentioned the suspicious "circumstancial" evidence left behind.

"Oh, the pizza and vodka. Chris ordered his lunch for today and left the box asking me to throw it out. The vodka bottle was in his room and I took it out for him. I forgot to put it in the cabinet!"

I told him, "You left them by Emy and then she woke up and said she was sick!"

He laughed and said, "I guess if I got up and saw that, I would think the same thing!"

Coincidence? Ahh he was setting her up!

Its like someone being dead in the room and her sleeping with a gun in her hand.

A Tropical Hosing

2005-06-20T23:45:00.000-07:00

I can't help but think when watching all the news about that Natalee girl missing in Aruba, what a hose job going on. Those people are covering up so much because that kid they suspect is a big shot's kid.

One must remember no matter how kind and peaceful some people appear to be, you are dealing with a tourist situation and tourist islands are loaded with interesting scoundrals.

I think this girl's family is getting jerked around so much and they are trying to make this go away because all the negative publicity is going to kill this place. This place depends almost exclusively on American tourism, if that goes away this case will singlehandedly turn this place into a barren wasteland.

The girl's family is predictably frantic and I get the feeling they are most interested in protecting a son of a island big wig than they are giving this poor family some peace.

When the American people find out the truth about what happened here and how much got hidden and how much the Aruban people really knew, I think this will not fare well for this place.

Everyone pray for Natalee that she is ok somewhere and she will come home!

Lessons In Fatherhood

2005-06-19T13:29:00.000-07:00

We have two Siamese cat lovers, Lola and Simba. Lola is a scrawny petite cat while Simba is a large, handsome, athletic boy of about 15 lbs already, even though they are both just past being kittens.

Well as things go these days, the two teen lovers had themselves a litter of 3 not that long ago. Immediately 2 of them died and the other looked like it might not survive either.

Lola didn't seem to care all that much, but Simba was visably upset. Male cats generally don't relate well to fatherhood, so this was something to keep an eye on. I had male cats in the past enjoyed their kittens, but this had a different feel to it.

Lola as we anticipated was not a good mother and we needed to nurse her kitten for her a lot because it wasn't well at first. She was like some young mom's, didn't want to be bothered with this major interference in her life and also didn't seem to know what to do.

However Simba for his part, seemed to be a loving doting father, spending time with his kitten, gently playing with him, washing him up and snoozing together. The kitten 's health was a concern and its as if Simba knew it.

However it seemed the kitten who we named Oz was getting better and looked like everything was going to be ok.

Maternal instinct wasn't a foregone conclusion for Lola. She didn't seem to know how to pick the kitten up properly which became a major concern. She would lift Oz by his stomach and not his scruff and Oz would scream horribly and Simba would scream at Lola.

Simba knew there was a lot he couldn't do for Oz, because males aren't equipped for it. But it is as if he seemed to have to remind Lola to feed Oz and just keep after her. Oz was a needy kitten, who just seemed to loudly yell like a typical Siamese but more than usual. It was like having a real screamer for a baby and Lola didn't want to invest that kind of time.

Lola got really jealous of Oz and wound up hiding him on Simba. Lola just wanted him to die it seems because Simba didn't hang with her anymore.

When Oz was missing, Simba seemed to search frantically for a day or so, until we eventually located Oz, hidden in a corner of the closet, ok but hungry.

Simba didn't let Oz out of his sight for a few days after that.

The next week, Lola had been practically dragging Oz around by the tummy, with the usual screaming and what not. This became a major problem because after one of these episodes, Oz was visably hurt.

Lola just left Oz there, but Simba stayed with Oz and washed him, tried to play with him, meow at him and get him to rally. However there was no mistake as to the inevitable was at hand and Oz passed away.

For the rest of the day, Simba just walked around in a daze, meowing at no one in particular. Eventually he kept seeking me out where ever I was. They say that cats work strictly off instinct and instinctively he knew I was the right human to seek comfort from.

Daddy knows what its like when his baby dies.

Simba just moped around for days and his depression was a concern on our part. He didn't eat much, just slept and needed lots of love. He even sat in the spot where Oz died for a day, either to honor him or wait for him to come back.

Eventually he snapped out of it. I don't know if cats carry a torch for each other, but if there is a way, Simba will never forget.

Today being Father's Day, I feel its also Simba's day. With all the young teen father's there are these days who don't have much if any interaction with their kids, it was a young male cat that gave me hope to know that being a good father may actually survive into the next generation.

For Dad's...and those who depend on them! Happy Father's Day!

When Its Over, Its REALLY Over

2005-06-18T00:14:00.000-07:00

I saw a very poignant sight today, a kid obviously on the brink of graduation taking a picture of the sign in front of the school with its name on it. The kids clearly knew it would likely be the final opportunity to take in whatever he can because when its over, its really over.

The graduation experience is perhaps the most surreal day of your life

I can recall my final day of high school. I rode in with my friend Scott on his motorcycle and you can see the seats all set up waiting for you and the same people you've been going to school with for years, to fill them. The many thousands of days of going to school were going to come down to one day.

You walk thru the place for the last time under the realization you may likely never see most of these people again, for the good and the bad. You're basically sick of the teachers and they of you.

You are excited for the future and about leaving and the prospects of life ahead. But in one day they are taking away your comfort zone all at the same time. This is all you've ever known to this point!

The one thing that sticks out in my mind is the day I was cleaning out my locker as was the person next to me named Tom. By virtue of our last names being alphabetically arranged, we locked next to each other since grade 7.

Tom and I otherwise wouldn't cross paths, we had no common friends, we were on opposite ends of town. Tom was a quiet kid, he never said too much to me in the 6 yrs we knew each other. Our conversations were relatively benign and meaningless every day.

On that last day, he looked at me sadly and you could tell the whole graduation process was having an unusual affect on him. He said to me, "Dave, this is the last time we'll ever do this." I acknowledged that. He said, "You know, I wish we had become better friends."

We shook hands and then we were sitting next to each other at graduation. I never saw him again after that night. I tell kids who are in their senior year, enjoy it all, take it all in and do everything because when its over there is no chance to go back and change your mind.

The Old, The New and the Redesigned

2005-06-15T23:44:00.000-07:00

Today, I heard the words that I always feared I one day might hear. Yankee Stadium will close and be virtually destroyed in 2009. Imagine this? That's like telling me...well that Yankee Stadium will close. I wasn't this upset when my mother sold our family home.

The day I stepped into the old version of Yankee Stadium in 1972 as an 9 yr old, I learned what love is. I was able to find something to rate the rest of life against. All things in my life have stood up vs Yankee Stadium. I have pictures of Yankee Stadium all over my house. I don't even have a picture of my mother hanging up.

When the Stadium closed for the first time in 1973 to be renovated, I wasn't sure about the outcome. But when it opened again in 1976, I fell in love all over again.

I know everything about my love. I can't see it enough times. I know little nuances about Yankee Stadium that few people know. I can actually do a guided tour. I love bringing people there for the first time and let them see what I love and then they love it too.

I have introduced my wife and kids to Yankee Stadium. I have to bring my grandson there before time runs out.

I love baseball games in my favorite place on Earth, I go in as early as they allow me. I just sit there and wait hours until the game. I just stare out into the field where all those wonderful things took place that I have seen over the years and rerun them in my head over and over again. I sometimes I just stare at it, meditate and thank God for making such a wonderful place.

But closing Yankee Stadium is like telling me Heaven is closing down.

Yes they are rebuilding a new meglo modern version, illusion of Yankee Stadium, with all the things that people want in a new ballpark, right on the same block

A money driven dog and pony show that will guide the next generation of memories and the drawings of the place are impressive.

My only hope is that the memories and magic of days gone by will somehow find their way down the road.

So He Beat It

2005-06-13T23:15:00.000-07:00

It was fate that I forgot to drop something off this morning, because then I had to leave work a little early and drop the item at a customers house. As I got into my steamy hot 100 degree car, I turned on the radio and discovered the Michael Jackson verdict was on its way.

I was the first to say all along he would be found not guilty, because the people who were the alleged victims weren't very victim- like they were scavengers. These were the kind of witnesses that could screw up Michael's wet dream of the kid he is accused of molesting. The DA had to know what a fool he was making of himself by staking his case on this type of vagabond witnesses.

This isn't to say that Mike is clean, but now it becomes harder and harder to believe anyone who might be an accuser and this DA is finally going to have to leave him alone and let him try to repair his life. I also think he is really innocent of grabbing this particular victim. I think there were people out there who had much bigger cases against him.

I knew he'd beat count #1 easy, but once the lewd behavior charges were all falling down, I knew he'd run the table.

This was a hot pre summer day to remember for better or worse.

My Grandma's a Whore!

2005-06-12T13:24:00.000-07:00

Well my brother's stag is in the books and it seems like everyone lived to tell about it.

There were people I haven't seen in 100 yrs and while its ok if 100 more pass before I see them again, it still was nice to see the cast of characters that came out of the wood work for this banner occasion.

A kid named Artie, who I haven't seen in 30 yrs was high on the list. Artie was like my brother's first little friend in Kindergarten or 1st grade. Last I saw him he was a 9 year old kid with a moustache.

Not only did he come, but he stayed til the end, he just seemed happy that people thought enough of him to invite him. It was like he was just sitting arounnd waiting for something like this.

We were all asked by my friend and my brother's best man #9, to come up with some names to submit for possible guests we could laugh at.

My suggestions included Mr. Janush, our gym teacher et al who we featured in a story a few weeks back, knowing he likes to go to things where people remember him. Well he apparently he couldn't wait to go.

He got to the stag party and right away he blended right in like he just saw these people the day before. When he left early and said goodbye, I told him it was my recommendation to invite him and he seemed genuinely touched by the gesture.

Before he left, he bought some raffle tickets for the door prizes. He said he didn't care if he won, but everyone cares if they win. So I told him I'd watch his tickets for him and if he won anything good, like a grand prize, I'd bring it over his house.

Amongst the gifts were Stag film DVD's and bottles of alcohol. One gag DVD was on the table, called My Grandma's a Whore, which as it sounds, features old beat on grandmothers getting it on with young studs. As you can guess the ladies were fully equipped with saggy skin, messed up gray coiffs, no teeth and other issues pertaining to aging ladies. All I could think of was how funny would it be if that's what he won.

Sure enough, his ticket won and remaining on the table was the Grandma video. I took it knowing it was meant to be. My ticket won a bottle of Yukon Jack and a Latina's DVD for Bri.

I sat with the video having to make the decision if I should drop off the Grandma's video at his house. The look on his wife's face would be priceless, or who knows if might be the most exciting thing to happen to them in years, who knows? How do you make the decision to bring your old teacher this porn DVD and tell him he won? We all need to be faced with this decision.

I thought I could do the nice thing and tell him he won and bring over my bottle of YJ.

My decision was not to make a decision! I figured what he didn't know wouldn't hurt him, he can just think he didn't win anything!

You didn't really think I'd give him my bottle of Yukon Jack did you? The Grandma video is right here, anyone want it?

Undercover Munchies

2005-06-11T12:23:00.000-07:00

Doodle and I were sitting down to dinner and the Chinese place was pretty quiet last night, but that was about to change.

Five guys looking to be over 400 lbs and one other guy with no discernable major weight problem were coming into the restaurant. Of course this must be the major fear of any person who opens an all you can eat establishment. It must be horrifying. For 5 bucks, one guy can clear that place out. It was bad enough it wasn't a busy night, then they lost money after that.

After they left, it would likely be more fiscally responsible to close for the rest of the night and cut your losses.

As the guys load up their plates, we can see one or two of them have handcuffs with them and they also have walkie talkies.

Oh cute, undercover cops! How do I know they are undercover cops, well they're telling everyone they are. Man what a disguise!

Cops in general make me laugh. They love to let everyone know they are a cop, even when they aren't supposed to let people know they are a cop, they become the most obvious.

Sometimes you can't help but wonder if the police department knows about some of these people.

I don't have a criminal mind, but why couldn't I resist thinking that I want to commit a crime right in front of these guys and then make them chase me.

I'd run backward just to watch them.

Rock On!

2005-06-10T20:03:00.000-07:00

Yesterday wasn't a good day, I didn't feel good, the day was pokey and I wasn't real interested in much of anything.

However I also was being stalked by our doctor friend which when your my age, being stalked is both annoying and flattering at the same time. I mean, I may never be stalked again. At this age, this is likely my final time being stalked by someone.

I have to take this seriously.

From now on, the only people who are likely to stalk me, are people who want money or favors.

Such can also be the case with your children. My son Dave has been very self sufficient this year, so when I can, I want to help him especially.

A few weeks back he needed a car and I had a vehicle hanging around doing nothing taking up space and tax dollars. I told him come get the van. No matter how ungrateful kids seem at times, when you come thru big for them, they sure remember.

Yesterday I got a Fax from him with the bill of sale so he could register it. On his cover sheet, he wrote, "Have I told you lately that you rock!"

Suddenly I didn't feel that crappy anymore or at very least, I felt up to finishing the day.

I have great kids huh?

Itchy and Scratchy

2005-06-08T20:47:00.000-07:00

Today is a first for me in my life. I got paid to be a consultant. Someone wanted to pay me just for the chance to talk to me. Of course for the one time in my life someone actually pay me to talk, well...I can hardly talk, my voice is going. Stop laughing!

Most people are usually thrilled to find out my voice is shot. Don't get excited I can get loud with my fingers here!

Its just as well, I can't say anything, not too many people would like what I have to say right now, one person in particular especially won't.

Its amazing how you can be important to someone that they will pay you for an hour of your time yet how unimportant you become seconds later. Sometimes you wonder why you ever bother helping someone out. Maybe we do that for ourselves, right?

Have a funny story for you tomorrow...visit and go to F@DW tomorrow night

Weighty Decisions

2005-06-07T22:30:00.000-07:00

With just a few weeks to go until my brother's wedding, I thought it might not be a bad idea to drop a few pounds, to look good for the pictures that will be taken and not embarress myself in front of the hundreds of people who will be in attendance pointing and duly laughing.

When its said and done, there is no pretty way to do this for me. Many people can go on these "Jump start your metabolism" diets where they actually eat more food and lose weight. For me the only thing more food does is lead to more me.

The only answer is the starvation route which is exciting. The first day or two is the hardest, but then it gets easier. Besides, when the weight comes off, its more inspirational to continue.

My only fears are, Thursday pizza, Friday office lunch, Friday night Chinese, that Saturday Bar-B-Que, Sunday breakfast and Sunday pasta!

If I can make it to Monday, I should be home free. Monday never looked so good. Hopefully, I will too.

The Not So Welcome Matt

2005-06-06T23:14:00.000-07:00

Bri's red headed annnoying gothic friend Matt has a mission. Come over and find his way into my heart like a nail.

I used to like this kid many years ago, when he just stood there with that dumb-assed look on his face and didn't say anything. When he began doing stupid things like purposely getting himself run over by a car to see if he could survive it, drilling holes into his ears, cutting himself with glass, walking around a park for 72 hours consecutively, locking himself in a closet for 48 hours, submerging himself in blocks of ice to see if he could get frostbite in the appropriate place, snort crushed up smarties candies on my kitchen table at 3 am, breaking his 10th rib, so he can flex his torso and orally...uh huh... and staying awake for 1 week and then sleeping for one week, well then he was amusing.

But now....NOW, this kid's mission is to come over every night, harass me about the Yankees, stink up my house with cheap cigars, try to tell me I don't know good Italian food while relieving me of my groceries. Once I woke up at 4 am and found him doing jumping jacks in my living room. I gave him the nickname 3rd Shift, because he'd come over at 11, he and Bri would be up all night and then he'd go home to go to bed in the AM.

But as of this past few days he is about to carry his mission 1 step further. His quest has extended itself to try to get my daughter to be the object of his affection. I assure you, this is never going to happen, if it does, it will be over my dead body. They think I'm like DiNiro now, they haven't seen crap yet!

There are two people that my Emy will not become involved with whether she likes it or not, both are named Matt and Emy knows she can expect to be shot on sight if she ever gets near either one.

Attack of the 950 Year Old Prostitute! (the Return of Mary Magdelene)

2005-06-05T22:34:00.000-07:00

Summer is here regardless of what the calendar says. When the temps hit 80 and beyond, there are not enough liquids to ingest. water does the trick for awhile of course, but everyone knows after awhile you want your water to have a little flavor to it.

Doodle had been on me since the start of the day to go out and get a slushie, so after I got a few things done around the house, we asked the kids if they wanted one and then headed for 7-11. I got hooked on these things a few years ago, when my then 2 year old grandson Mike, had a fetish with them. Slushies in the summer to him were secondary to breathing. After awhile I sampled a few of his and starting getting them myself. Soon in the summer, I stopped off at any slushie center and filled up.

Now you might think on an 85 degree day, the slushie machine in the local 7-11 might be working overtime, but the truth was, they were all but empty and non functional. I was mad, but I thought Doodle was going to file a protest. Before things got ugly and out of hand, I got her out the door and went on to Plan B.

I knew some of the better Cumberland Farms stores had slushie machines, so I drove us across town to one I thought was there. However when we got there, I found out it was no longer a Cumby’s, but some generic convenience store. I looked at this place knowing the prospects of a slushie in this place were pretty slim, but Doodle insisted on trying it out. I went along with it, I mean, a day like today, you might think there’d be slushies every which way.

As we walked up to the place, there was this ancient looking woman standing there in those long shorts that I can describe as “gardening shorts." She had a little hat on and sneakers with knee socks. As we approached the store she looked at me and said, "Hey Big Guy, wanna get lucky?”

Thinking it was just hot and maybe I was hallucinating, I blew it off. Doodle starts laughing and says, “The old lady was asking you if you wanted to get lucky! Old ladies and gay people dig you, don’t they?”

We went inside and saw there was nothing that resembled a slushie and we left. On the way out we looked at the woman who smiled at me again and Doodle says, “How pathetic an old disgusting hooker!”

I laughed and said, “I wonder if she shares profits with the store owner."

Doodle looked back at her and said, “She’s got to be about 950 years old!’

I thought about it and recalled the converted prostitute from the Bible, "Mary Magdeline! She came back! A real life Bible person! See it was telling the truth!”

However, no prayers got answered today, we never got a slushie and Yanks lost.

Secure In One's Womanhood

2005-06-04T17:52:00.000-07:00

This is the last Saturday of peace and quiet I have for about the next 6 weeks. I have something scheduled every weekend until the middle of next month. Its exciting and overhwelming all at the same time.

Next weekend is my brother's stag party. Billed as "2pm to Jail", this stag party has the feeling one gets before they go on a rollercoaster, a strange mix of excited and frightened of the possibilities.

Stag's haven't changed much over the years really. A large assembly of testosterone, both young and old, gathering to drink, eat, drink, laugh, drink, puke, laugh some more, drink and finally if the bash has any quality to it at all, be entertained by the presence of at least one naked female.

Its a special day in the life of the groom because it is supposed to be the final opportunity for him to "sow his oats" before the blessed day. He is ofter that supposed to give up all that sort of happiness before he settles into a life of....marital bliss?

After that, you are only supposed to have fun outside the marriage if you go to another stag party and of course, only as a...uh.... casual observer...yeah that's it..casual observer.

Wives know what to expect when their little casual observer goes to a stag party. They know they are going to get drunk and look at a live naked chick.

For me these things have a different meaning than they used to. I like every healthy American male, do enjoy seeing disrobed females with the best of them. Why 20 years ago that would've been the reason to get up in the morning.

However life is different for me. I've now seen literally thousands of naked women in one capacity or another and while they never cease to amaze me, there is now more to life.

Why many years since my last stag of any kind, I can tell you who was there, but I can't tell you what the naked chick looked like. Well lets just say I couldn't pick her out in a lineup.

I for one and looking forward to seeing some people I haven't seen in years. That would mean a lot more to me.

As for the wives of the casual observer, they jokingly say they are going to set up a legal fund and things like that. Doodle, who is overstocked with jealousy inventory, isn't even concerned about this and that says a lot for her maturity.

Most wives view this happiness as clean fun for their casual observer.

Yet it will amaze you who isn't comfortable with the whole thing...

My son Dave has been dating a girl Samantha for over 2 years. Unless you have gone blind recently, you will notice she is overqualified to date my son. Dave is a handsome chap in his own right, but his girlfriend is downright beautiful if I do say so myself.

Many people have likened this relationship to that of the sitcom "King of Queens". I think that's overstated somewhat, but I can see the simile and more importantly, they get along very nicely.

Dave calls me up the other night to ask me questions in the presence of his woman, who is cocncerned that her man is going to look at a naked girl that isn't her. Dave asked me all the right questions, relayed all the right answers to her satisfaction so he can go to this event, with or without her concerns.

I couldn't help to think that of all the women of the males going to this event, the one who should have the least concern her man might act inappropriate, is in fact the MOST concerned!

It took me many years to put this together in my head and maybe I'm a little slow, but now its as clear as day to me. Occasionally I felt as I grew older that I missed out on something years ago, but now I can see I've missed nothing at all. Youth isn't all its cracked up to be I guess.

A girl can look like a beautiful woman, but it really is maturity that turns a girl into a woman.

I thought about this and discovered today is a great day to be me!

In 3D!!

2005-06-04T07:51:00.000-07:00

I noticed last night that the name Dave's Daily Digest is 3D's! Hahaha, this is what happens when you drink heavily!

So while I was slightly intoxcated, I made a logo to submit for your approval.

When I figure out how to make it publish, I'll put it here.

Some people who are coming to the blog are not F@DW readers, so if you haven't had the pleasure or displeasure..

Fun@Dave's World

Got stuff to talk about this weekend to chew on!

Ahh yes, lady and man!

2005-06-03T04:46:00.000-07:00

Friday nights I don't really go online. Maybe check my mail when I get home and that's it for the computer for the night. I go for my walk, watch the Yanks, have a rum and Pepsi (Coke has jammed themselves up the Red Sox ass) and go to bed.

Fridays Doodle and I go out to eat, usually Chinese food. I have no idea how I started liking this crap, for years and years I was so resistant to it. Once I got food poised by it and didn't eat it for about 16 years. I wouldn't even be in the same room with it, especially after hearing people say it was chopped cats as the beef.

But suddenly being a cheap bastard, I discovered Chinese buffets because for a few bucks, I can eat until I explode and there is a lot to choose from including American food. I started trying some of the more Chinese dishes and I was hooked. Now I order Chinese take out and everything and have turned into a real pro with Chinese food.

Doodle and I have found this one buffet that only charges $5 a person and most of the time its pretty good. Not bad for $10, you can take the wife out. She's a cheap date and never complains I only spend $10 on her. Sometimes, she even buys! Guys, if you can get the woman to pay for you, its good!

The people at the restaurant are even starting to know us. One night when we were at the register paying, the girl who works there was yelling at her little sonn about age 4 in Chinese when suddenly she looked at Doodle, smiled and tried to make American conversation as best as she could...

"SO..YOU WORKIN'?" the girl asked her kind of loudly. She must have learned a new English phrase and wanted someone to try it out on.

Well, we've all learned over the years, never to ask Doodle about her day at work, because she'll tell you...minute to minute coverage of everything she had to do that day. When I heard that question, I knew there'd be trouble. Doodle begins to give the day's story to this girl who's English vocabulary has five or six words. The girl smiled and nodded a lot, while I went to the car unnoticed. She like us was probably sorry she ever learned that phrase.

The next week we went back and the girl saw us come in. She runs right over and greets us saying, "Ahh yes, lady and man!" and shows us to our table.

She looked at Doodle and said, "WORK GOOD, HUH?" and politely ran for the border! I don't know why!

Special gift and Thursdays

2005-06-02T09:22:00.000-07:00

BTW, to the people who contributed to Team J.A.N.N.A., check your mail next week for a little gift I have coming out to you. Nothing big, just a thank you for your generousity.

I like Thursdays generally, but anything that happens at the end of the week always affects the way you feel on the weekend.

Thursdays are update night of course, which I enjoy because everyone gets to read my new work. At work they generally are a huge success or a huge mess. Today...shhh...so far...

BTW, there is more than ample evidence to suggest that Bri is really a Red Sox fan. This could get ugly.

Something new

2005-06-01T23:37:00.000-07:00

The start of the summer and its time to start something new. So now F@DW readers have some place to go to maybe get a daily or semi daily giggle or two. This will have no pattern, it may or may not be funny, but you know there will be something worthwhile here.

Visit, comment, tell me to go screw, whatever, but we'll give this a try and document the thrills, spills and excitment of this summer!