Attack of the 950 Year Old Prostitute! (the Return of Mary Magdelene)

Summer is here regardless of what the calendar says. When the temps hit 80 and beyond, there are not enough liquids to ingest. water does the trick for awhile of course, but everyone knows after awhile you want your water to have a little flavor to it.

Doodle had been on me since the start of the day to go out and get a slushie, so after I got a few things done around the house, we asked the kids if they wanted one and then headed for 7-11. I got hooked on these things a few years ago, when my then 2 year old grandson Mike, had a fetish with them. Slushies in the summer to him were secondary to breathing. After awhile I sampled a few of his and starting getting them myself. Soon in the summer, I stopped off at any slushie center and filled up.

Now you might think on an 85 degree day, the slushie machine in the local 7-11 might be working overtime, but the truth was, they were all but empty and non functional. I was mad, but I thought Doodle was going to file a protest. Before things got ugly and out of hand, I got her out the door and went on to Plan B.

I knew some of the better Cumberland Farms stores had slushie machines, so I drove us across town to one I thought was there. However when we got there, I found out it was no longer a Cumby’s, but some generic convenience store. I looked at this place knowing the prospects of a slushie in this place were pretty slim, but Doodle insisted on trying it out. I went along with it, I mean, a day like today, you might think there’d be slushies every which way.

As we walked up to the place, there was this ancient looking woman standing there in those long shorts that I can describe as “gardening shorts." She had a little hat on and sneakers with knee socks. As we approached the store she looked at me and said, "Hey Big Guy, wanna get lucky?”

Thinking it was just hot and maybe I was hallucinating, I blew it off. Doodle starts laughing and says, “The old lady was asking you if you wanted to get lucky! Old ladies and gay people dig you, don’t they?”

We went inside and saw there was nothing that resembled a slushie and we left. On the way out we looked at the woman who smiled at me again and Doodle says, “How pathetic an old disgusting hooker!”

I laughed and said, “I wonder if she shares profits with the store owner."

Doodle looked back at her and said, “She’s got to be about 950 years old!’

I thought about it and recalled the converted prostitute from the Bible, "Mary Magdeline! She came back! A real life Bible person! See it was telling the truth!”

However, no prayers got answered today, we never got a slushie and Yanks lost.